"I Know a Guy ....' "I Have a Guy ....Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

"I KNOW A GUY ...."

OR

"I HAVE A GUY ......"

It seems like almost everybody 'has' or 'knows' a guy that can 'fix' just about anything.

By 'fix', I don't refer to 'repair'. 'Fix' as in 'Put in the Fix'

Do you have an illegal car? Want to get it registered?

Someone will know a guy that can ........

Shortcut to a drivers license?

Someone will know a guy that for $50 will ..........

No matter what bureaucratic snaggle or red tape or process you mention ....

Someone will claim to .......... you guessed it .....know a guy.

Everybody seems to have the guy that can skirt the system.

BUT .......

I don't know of anybody that has successfully done it.

I think this guy is a cousin to Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD ..... TWICE?

Today was my first day of driving in the driving class that you MUST take (and pass) before you can go to the Transit Dept and take their test. Anybody wanting to take the govt test has to take and pass the course first. The only exception is if you 'know a guy' ...... but that has been covered already.

Anyway. So I am driving this really fine bucket of bolts all over the place today. Highway, surface streets, dirt roads in the mountains, etc. Each 'at the wheel' session, lasts 3 hours and is actually pretty fun.

Anyway, so I am driving a dirt road full of pot holes and other yuck. Pretty much right in front of me, these two chickens run across the road ........ not really to get to the other side. I would guess that the one running away would have been a hen and the pursuer would be the rooster. The rooster was doing his best to 'rooster' the hen. He caught her on the edge of the road after both had crossed in front of me. I am pretty much at a stop. As he is trying to 'rooster' her at the far side, I start to drive by. Apparently, the roostering wasn't to her liking. She gets away and throws herself under my front wheel. She wasn't dead, but pretty injured. She drags herself to the other side (the original side), and ......... Well, lets just say that the rooster was no gentleman.

So, I look at the driving instructor, he looks at me, he shrugs his shoulders and remarks that chickens are 'tonto'. 'Tonto' means a fool. It is NOT a compliment. What was the name of the Lone Ranger's sidekick?

Anyway, I now know why some chickens cross the road.

Life is sweet,

Clarke