Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Essential Services Missing in Cuenca.

As far as I know, the following essential services are not available in Cuenca.  They all appear to be available in Vilcabamba.

Chakra Alignment:  
Apparently having ones Chakra aligned is critical.  I just looked it up  on the Internet.  Wow!  This is scary sh*t!  I never knew.  It looks like you are really screwed if your Chakras are out of line.  For instance if your closed solar plexus chakra is out of alignment, it can cause low self confidence and anxiety.  While an overactive third eye chakra could contribute to hallucinations. (Chakra alignment sounds like the cure for paranoid schizophrenia!)  Wow!  I never knew.  It seems that there may be 5 other Chakras that need to be aligned.  

I’ve seen posters advertising Chakra alignment in Vilcabamba.  Not in Cuenca that I know of.  

However, I did hit a big pothole with the car yesterday and I can get my front end  aligned here.

Aura Cleansing:  
This is interesting.  Look it up.  Here is a little teaser.  "Your aura is like a fingerprint; it is completely unique and represents precisely who you really are. But unlike the fingerprint, a gifted psychic can change your aura, cleanse it – eliminating the clouds, the defects, the negatives. The results could be startling: your relationships could be better than ever, your love life could get a jump start, and your finances could take a quantum leap.”  

Wow.  This sounds so cool.  The websites I was at are unclear as to whether it is a take out service, like dry cleaning, or what.

Sadly, not available in Cuenca that I know of.  Readily available in Vilcabamba (poster ads.).

But, I can get the car or motorcycles cleaned in Cuenca very reasonably.

Reading of Crystals:
Yeah, I looked this up on the internet too.  Sounds like a great way to straighten out what ails you.

Vilcabamba - yes.  Cuenca - no.

But if you are interested in the regular type of reading, I suggest Carolina Bookstore.  Right here in Cuenca.

12/21/2012 Transition (Transformation):
Well now.  This is REALLY BIG right now.  There is a “Be The Transformation Retreat” in Vilcabamba.  Sounds like a ‘must do’.

The add says “calling all conscious ex-pats”.  It is apparently for all those who are “into spiritual and/or personal growth”.  I guess if you don’t pay the $575 per person you would be a non-spiritual, un-conscious ex-pat with no interest in personal growth.  But, the fee does include 10 meals “served with love.”

Good news.  There is a “Paradigm Shift Intention Retreat” right here in Cuenca.  But it is only $35/day and I don’t see that the meals are served with love.

What About Pyramid Power:
I haven’t seen any posters in Vilcabamba or Cuenca addressing this.  I am going to have to keep my eyes peeled.

Energy Vortex:
Gawd, I really love this concept.  I have heard it applied to Vilcabamba as one of the reasons that people live so long there.  I have also heard that it is the positive ions in the  ...... was it the air or the water?  I forget.  Now that I think about it, it must be the air.  Everyone in Vilcabamba drinks bottled water. (They don't really live longer there.  It is a myth.)

I have never heard about the ‘Cuenca energy vortex’.  Of course I am pretty much out of the loop on the really cool stuff.

Lizard People:
I am sure that everyone knows of the lizard people by now.  You know, the alien race masquerading as humans.  Apparently, many of the ‘humans’ in positions of power are actually lizard people.  They would be the ones pulling the strings in the world.  It is all hush hush and very secretive.  But, I have heard (possibly wrongly) that one of the centers of knowledge about the LP is ......... well, not Cuenca.  I have heard that the other place is very aware of them and the threat they pose.

But the Brennie and I don’t worry about the LP.  We have Bugger and Wanker to protect us. 
Bugger and Wanker
Wearing their magical
'lizard people protective wear'
Life is sweet,

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Bicycle Safety Tip #1

The last post was on motorcycle safety.

This is about  .......see blog title.

So  ..........
I am riding my velociped (25 year old bike) home the other day.
It is about noon.

Light to moderate traffic.

I come to a place where another lane merges into mine.
The other lane is basically an on ramp.
I have the right of way.
BUT, I am a bicycle.
The vehicle merging into my lane is a car.

The car does not modify it's speed to either pull in front of or behind me.
We are on a collision course.
The driver of the car must see itself as the winner in any pissing contest.

I am peddling slightly uphill and really don't want to loose my inertia.
The car seems content with  our little collision course.
I hit my breaks and concede defeat at the last possible moment.

The car blows by me.
I glance over to check out the *sshole that would just as soon run me over as not.

A car full of nuns?
I almost get run over by a bunch of f*cking nuns!

When on a bicycle,  NEVER assume that god is on your side.

Life is Sweet,

Monday, October 1, 2012

Motorcycle Safety Tips

There are all kinds of personal safety tips.

Tips for visiting _________ City.  (Fill blank with name of any city in the world.)

Driving safety tips.

Walking.  Flying.  In the home.  Safe sex.

The list is limitless.

Most safety tips are pretty obvious.

Here are a few not so obvious motorcycle safety tips:
 - Ride with your doctor.  My doctor ......... Dr. Gabe ........... is a gerentologist.  I guess there is a certain time when your primary care physician is a gerentologist.  So he may as well be your riding buddy.
- Dr. Christian?  Well, it's pretty handy when one of the other riders is .......drum roll please .........  an orthopedic surgeon.  Yep.  No kidding.  How handy is that? Especially cool when riding in Ecuador ......... mostly mountains and blind curves.
- Dr. Gabe's dad was there.  Also a doctor.  Also named Gabe.  But not a gerentologist.  A forensic pathologist.  Sheeeeeiiiiiit Bubba!!!  That's grim.  Kinda like riding with an undertaker. 
- I am not sure of the other two riders.  But I am pretty sure they were doctors.  Maybe a neuro surgeon for head trauma and a plastic surgeon for skin grafts?

Red shirt. Dr. Gabe.  Gerentologist
Black jacket (left) Dr. Gabe.  Forensic pathologist.
Orange jacket.  Dr. Christian.  Orthopedic surgeon.
My bike.  Far right.
All the bikes are Kawasaki KLR 650's.
Pretty cool bike for Ecuador.

Life is sweet,