INSECTS / BUGS IN CUENCA

As far as I can tell, insects and bugs are topics rarely addressed on the expat blogs. (Are bugs and insects the same thing?) It is true that there are few bothersome insectos here. I have yet to get any kind of bug bite ...... and I am usually 'the guy' that gets devoured. Yeah, the six summers in Minnesota were a delight. They say Minnesota is the land of 10,000 lakes. More like 10,000 mosquito breeding swamps. The summer working in Alaska was 'interesting'. The clouds of mosquitos were so dense they actually cast a shadow. (blatant exaggeration)

Moving on.......

True, Cuenca seems to be relatively free of insectos. We get some flies in the apt, but it usually seems that they are trying to get out by the time we see them. They are good size and the slowest flies on earth. So easy to kill, it is a wonder that they aren't extinct.

Off track again, so moving on again .......

We live on the 6th floor and have a huge balcony with 3 doors and 3 windows to the balcony. We routinely leave the doors / windows open. An obvious invitation to bugs (and thieves if they could get up here).

So, well .........

Today we went out to the art fairs that are part of the celebrations here for 5 days. When we got back ........ holy mother of god! The two biggest insects I have ever seen ........ in the apartment and NOT trying to get out.

Pictures are worth a 1000 words:

THE DRAGONFLY

Wingspan: Almost 10 feet!

Luckily, our rooms are big.

Body: 3+ feet.

Eyes: Beautiful!

THE CENTIPEDE

Number of Feet: <100

Feel free to count them.

Body Length: 40 inches

Length from tip of antenna to the end of whatever that is: 5+ feet

Eyes: Not so beautiful.

These things are 'all metal' sculptures.

They are extremely heavy.

Hanging them on the walls should be interesting.

I hope they don't give me nightmares.

Life is Sweet,

Clarke

"WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY....."

THE CAT IS GONE:

Yep. The Brennie is at the coast (beach?) with her little girl friends. They left Saturday morning. So ...... keeping in mind that while the cat is away the mice should play ...... I am engaging in some "behaviors"?

Well, I walked /hiked /climbed to Turi again Saturday (yawn) and have smoked a couple cigars IN THE APARTMENT and went for motorcycle ride yesterday. Yesterday I also ate two desserts and did not floss my teeth even once. Looks like I am headed for Turi again today. Back to those cigars. ...... yeah baby, I smoked them in the apartment. Whad'ya gonna do about it? Huh?

This 'bad boy' thing is not like I remember it from 30 years ago. How sad.

Married too long. Domesticated. House broken. Loser.

GRINGO FITNESS TEST and the HAIRCUT FROM H*LL

GRINGO FITNESS TEST:

The climb to Turi. Gringos that live here know where Turi is. For those that don't, it is a village on a hill/mountain (?) south of Cuenca. If you want the fabulous view of Cuenca, you go to Turi. If you want some decent exercise you walk to Turi (walk is spelled c-l-i-m-b). We live in El Centro so that is where our walk/climb originated.

The (blurry) pic above was taken from our balcony in El Centro. The arrow points to the village of Turi. The church is circled. The squiggly line is where the stairs start. As you can see, you have done some climbing before you even get to the stairs.

Anyway, back to the 'gringo fitness test' part. Well I guess that is the fitness test .... getting there without a heart attack. FYI, the red squiggly part (stairs) .......... 453 stairs. Yeah I counted them. I lost count a couple times when I passed out. But I think the count is pretty accurate.

More pics of the lovely outing are below. We took a cab back.

HAIRCUT FROM H*LL:

Well, poor Brennie got the haircut from h*ll Thursday. I think it looks fine. How does Brennie feel about it? I didn't know a woman could cry for 36 hours. Now is that stamina or not? I am truly impressed. I don't know any guy with that kind of endurance or determination.

Anyway, what does a gal do when she hates her haircut? Buy hats of course.

This one is my favorite.

Just makes me smile to see her wearing it.

BONUS: Check out the apron!

She is wearing this one out to dinner tonight.

About time she got some hats!

AND NOW, MORE PICS OF THE 'GRINGO FITNESS TEST' CLIMB/WALK/CLIMB TO TURI.

Clarke (sucking in stomach) on one of the 453 stairs.

This is right before I passed out the first time.

The Brennie on stair #318.

I just love that hat!

AND, she is so so so cute!

View from Turi.

Red dot is approx where our place is in El Centro (Old Town).

At the top.

Sucking in my gut (again).

I am thinking of just buying myself a corset.

Red dot is our place (again).

Spots on shirt are from throwing up.

Life is Sweet,

Clarke

FASCINATING AND COMPELLING READING

SKOAL LONG CUT STRAIGHT?:

In about 1980 (give or take a couple years) I worked as a deck hand on a fish tender in Alaska. As such, I had to pull 2 six hour shifts daily in the wheelhouse. The captain did not allow smoking in the wheelhouse. (I smoked at the time.) Therefore, I took up chewing tobacco .... Skoal Long Cut Straight to be exact. So, for the last 30 years, if I have been awake, I have had chew nested up there between the gums and lips ......... that is, until I ran out about a week ago. You see, they don't sell it here. I have seen some cans (2) of other types of chew in Quito at $15 bucks a can ...... holy sh*t Marvin, that is expensive oral cancer. Anyway, I am now cutting up some of my least favorite cigars and making chew out of them. Different, same, different, close and different.

CEDULAS:

As of about a week ago, the Brennie and I have our Cedulas. For those not in the know, this is kind of a national ID that you can get only after you become permanent residents ....... which is something that you can't do until you have helped a lawyer make a number of his/her house, car or vacation home payments. (Our lawyer is building a really nice new house.) For the lawyers, getting permanent residency and Ceduals for the gringos is a major growth industry with unbelievable profit margins. Anyway, having the Cedulas is a good thing.

RIVER BOAT TRIP ON THE AMAZON?

We were thinking of a river boat trip on the Amazon. Then the Brennie did a little reading on all the different parasites etc that are possible there. Maybe a lovely little trip to Bemidji, Minnesota instead.

GIRON OR NOT GIRON, THAT IS THE QUESTION:

I wonder if I will ever succeed in riding my moto to Giron? Giron is a town about 40 km down the road. I have tried to make it there twice on my moto and have failed both times. The first time, I was with my little buddy Randy. We ran out of time because of a some little side trips and a cigar break. So we had to turn around before we got there. I tried again last week sans Randy, cigars and side trips. Instead, I laid the bike down a little past the half way point. In my version of the story, it was not my fault. No big injuries (helmets is good). The bike is ok as I managed to shield it from the road with my body. Some tissue damage (road rash) and bruising. Gawd, it hurt like h - e - double hockey sticks! I am not to old to ride a moto .....maybe a little to old to be laying them down on concrete. The Brennie is not thrilled.

AND FINALLY ......... SOMETIMES I HEAR FROM FORMER STUDENTS:

"I am happy to hear that you successfully fled the United States to South America. Rasdall and I were unable to get details of your crime but we were assured that it had institutionalized several of your former students. Rest well however knowing that the authorities are no longer looking for you, I believe the coast is clear should you ever want to return to the United States." Ryan R

Life is sweet,

Clarke