Hello Gringo Tree Readers

The Brennie and I have been living here about 2 1/2 years ....... very satisfied.

I love reading the Gringo Tree emails ......... but have noticed a real change.  A couple years ago I tried to submit a request.  I was looking for a recommendation for a veterinarian for Bugger and Wanker. I got a response from GT stating that those type of (looking for and seeking advice) requests are not published in Gringo tree ..... that I should go check out a bulletin board or user group.  I was sent a copy of the GT guidelines ....... also making it very clear  that advertisements for commercial services were printed in only very specific and limited instances.  

Well, the GT guidelines have obviously changed.  For the good?  Bad?  Who knows.

Sometimes GT is worth reading for the sheer entertainment value.

The following appeared recently.  It was written by a friend of mine.  We had just been talking about some very similar ’looking for apt’ ads appearing over the last 6 - 12 months.  

“Wanted El Centro apt. - Quiet, secure, three two or larger, must have open plan, large terrace, great views, fully furnished with full size washer dryer, modern kitchen and full size appliances, hot tub, flat screen tv at least 60", high speed wifi, elevator, guard, must allow large dogs and children, smoking, must be close to grocery shopping, and bus route, a weight room gym or lap pool would be a plus. No gringo pricing will not pay over $350 a month all utilities included. Will sign 6 mo lease with a possible 6 mo extension.”

My friend said that he got 80+ responses the first day ....... apparently few of them were kind.  I thought his post was hilarious.  Also sad that there have been serious ones very similar (but I think they were without the lap pool and 60” TV).

Another recent favorite:

I loved the one from the gal looking for ‘natural blond’ hair dye.  Really?  Seriously?  Natural blond dye?  It was very specific ........ not ash blond, not strawberry blond, not this, that or the other blond .....had to be natural blond in a bottle.  Aren’t the terms ‘natural blond’ and ‘dye’ kind of a contradiction, or mutually exclusive?  (Oopsie, maybe the terms  ‘contradiction’ and ‘mutually exclusive’ have too many syllables for the natural blond dye crowd.) 

Anyway:  News flash!!!! .......”natural blond” is a genetic thing.  It doesn’t come in a bottle.  It comes in your genes (not jeans ....... that is different and I can barely resist going further with this).  

Anyway, I am pretty sure I learned about that genetic thing somewhere between 4th and 8th grade.  Of course, for all I know, maybe the ‘intelligent design’ people have finally taken over all the state school boards, so that whole genetics and evolution thing would now be considered godless heathen science-voodoo.

Another favorite:

How about the one where the single gal wants to know if it possible to have a life in Cuenca.  She stated that she was 55, single, etc.  I REALLY wanted to respond that I am a couple years older, married and looking for a friendly single gal for a recreational relationship.  No strings attached.  Please send picture.  Some of my friends thought it would be fun to send the exact same email.  Just to show how friendly we are, of course.  Our wives said we were idiots.  (Or was it morons?)  But, they would all send their own identical email explaining that their husbands are retired and have devolved into mischievous children that are best ignored.  The wives would tell her that they are sure she could find a good life here ......... however, maybe not.  Please send picture.

And yet another favorite:

Wants to know if there are traditional barbers in Cuenca.  Seriously?  Is this a serious question?  Uh?  What would the options be?  All of us guys have styled hair? (Think Bee Gees, disco dancing.)  OR.  We have all gone with dreadlocks?  OR.  Maybe once a month there is a huge gringo gathering and we all cut each other’s hair (manis,  pedis)?  I mean is this a serious question?  Really? Seriously?

Hey, as long as I am on a roll here (haven’t taken my meds yet today) .........

When did the Gringo Circus arrive in town?  Are there multiple gals here wearing what can only be described as clown outfits (with wigs)?  Or is it just the same gal that I am seeing way too often?

Life is sweet,

Clarke

PS: I was going to title this blog “The Dumbing Down of Gringo Tree"

PPS:  I wonder if I have any friends left.