Saturday, August 13, 2011

I Am Now Guilty of ......

....... USING THIS BLOG FOR BLATANT CRASS COMMERCIALISM.  


Promoting my own self-interest.

Here is a copy of the text I sent out to Gringo Tree a few minutes ago.
"Downtown El Centro Penthouse for rent.  Building built in 1970.  Unique downtown apartment with 45‘ balcony on top (6th floor).  Wonderful view.  1600 sq ft, 2 large bedrooms, 2 bath.  Elevator.  Half way between Parque Calderon and Tomebamba River. One bathroom is newly remodeled. The kitchen and other bathroom are NOT attractive, but completely functional.  New paint and refinished hardwood floors.  Covered laundry area on roof has separate water heater and hook ups for washer and dryer.  Furnishings include: stove, refrigerator, microwave, cookware, dishes, dining room table and chairs, couch and easy chair, bedding, towels, area rugs and custom window treatments.  Queen size bed available if needed. Rent for either $600 or $700 a month.  $700 rent includes monthly condo fee, Internet, satellite TV, LCD TV and DVD player, $600 includes only condo fee.  Renter must furnish own router.  Minimum 6 month lease.  $500 security deposit required. No pets.  Smoking on balcony only.  In the middle of El Centro on Luis Cordero at Honorato Vasquez.  Call Clarke at 080307654 or email clarke.w.green@gmail.com"


Here is a link to some pics of the apartment.
Not all the 'fine furnishings' are included.  
These pics were just really handy.


I will return to my normal dumb-*ss postings with the next post.


Life is sweet,
Clarke


PS:  I guess we've decided what to do with the apartment.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Secret Revealed

Re those pics of the 'little secret' post of a few days ago:
Those pics were a few months old.

These pics are from a couple weeks ago.

We moved in 6 days ago.

The dogs have a little yard .....
they are little dogs.
Brennie is happy.
Life is good.

Kind of wondering what to do with the apartment we own in Old Town.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Observations: Traffic Control

All Right Now ........

Like most people here, we walk a lot.  It is one of the benefits of the climate, layout of the city ,,,,everything.  It is one of the healthy aspects of living here.  I have already blogged about the dangers of crossing the streets on foot while relying on the little green walk signals ....... that is simply for the naive and suicidal.  I have already covered this in other entries as have other gringos. Old news. Nothing new here.  I have covered the busses in blogs (as have others).  Nothing new here either.  Cabs?  Very cool for $1.50 - $2.50.  Nothing new here either.
HOWEVER.  In addition to walking, busses and cabs, I also:
- ride a bicycle.  
- ride a motorcycle.  
- drive a car.
Not a whole lot of us gringos do (all 3 of) these.  So maybe there is something new here.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
POINTS OF INTEREST FOR 2 AND 4 WHEELED GRINGOS:
Numero uno:  The intersection of Ave Galapagos and Remegio Tamariz.  Only one stop sign here (approaching from the south).  Those approaching from the north or east do not have stop signs or traffic control of any type.  Interesting?  Certainly.  Dangerous?  Maybe it is just my gringo perspective, but it seems dangerous to me.  The only safe place seems to be the guy stopped at the stop sign (that’s where I want to be).  All other traffic seems to be living on the edge.  The guy at the stop sign also has a ring side seat  if interested in blood sport.  Could probably set up bleachers here and sell tickets.  Maybe even better than the Mike Tyson / Evander Holyfield Fight.  You know, the one where Tyson ate a little bit of Holyfield’s ear.
Numero dos:  Ave 10 de Augusto and Death Row (or something).  This one is cool.  Last few times I was there, the lights were stuck on both red and green.  What I mean here is that both the red and green were on simultaneously.  Usually, if the lights are goofed up, you expect to be looking at EITHER the red OR the green ....... but BOTH? Burning steadily.  Is it just me?  Or is that confusing and possibly dangerous.  You sure as h*ll don’t want to stop, as you would probably get rear ended. Maybe another place to sell tickets?
Numero tres:  All the traffic lights along Ave 12 de Abril.  But first, you gotta understand the nature of South American drivers.  It is hard to explain in less than a full blown essay.  But sometimes it is mind boggling to see what stunts are pulled simply to gain an advantage of one car length.  Now imagine a major road with all the traffic lights out.  A couple days ago none of the lights at all were working.  I was in the car.  I am so proud of myself.  I gave no quarter.  I was the most aggressive rig on the road.  I plowed through all the intersections regardless of the needs or safety of others.  I was an animal.  I didn’t even bother honking the horn ........ I kind of figured that would be taken as a sign of weakness.
Numero quatro:
Any and all on-ramps to the Auto Pista (sp?).  There are stop signs at the end of all the on-ramps.  Right where you merge with the traffic.  Nobody stops at these.  Nobody.  Even my driving instructor told me to run these.  Anyone stopping here is guaranteed to be rear ended.
- - - - - - - - - 
ANOTHER (necessary) ADJUSTMENT TO DRIVING HERE:
Any time you leave town to go somewhere, you must drive through the mountains.  No exception.  That is because Cuenca is in a valley at 8000+ feet surrounded by mountains.  All of the roads out of here are mostly 2 lanes and winding.  So that means ...... lots of passing and lots of curves.  Our car has a strong V6.  Most cars here are 4-bangers.  So I do a lot of passing.  Remember the part about lots of curves?  I think that the Brennie appreciates it that I scream for her when doing the blind curve / passing thing.  Anyway, it amuses me to scream.
Life is sweet,
Clarke

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

We Have a Little Secret


Thinking "Earthquake" aren't you?

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Good News and Bad News

I have always liked to play "Good News, Bad News".


I know it's kinda childish.  But still .....


So, you wanna play "Good News, Bad News"?


OK.  Whadaya want first?  Good or Bad?


'Good' you say?  Fine.


THE GOOD NEWS:
We got a Garmin GPS.  Roads here are not real well marked so we thought it would help when leaving town.  (That's not the good news.)


Maps for those things are kinda spendy.  So a friend took us to a place where we could get them installed for a fraction of the price (15%).  This friend is a lawyer, so I am sure that everything was legit.  You know,  no pirated stuff.  Yeah, bullshit. (That's nice, and all ...but it is not the actuall good news in this game of GN, BN.)


So this Garmin has a feature called "Points of Interest."  Points of Interest' has categories like fuel , transit, food, shopping, lodging, banks/ATM's, hospitals, entertai........   HOLD ON!  Go back!  "Food?"  Really?  Bitchin'.  So back to the 'Food'  category in POI  Food has different categories, too.  One of which is fast food.


So, finally the good news.  My handy dandy Garmin will give turn by turn directions.  It will speak to me. It will guide me (by voice) through every turn I need to get to the closest McDonalds 121 kilometers from here.  And also the next 8 closest, which is a max of 132 kilometers.  It will take me right through the Caja mountains up to the drive through window.  Is that bitchin' or what?


AND NOW FOR THE BAD NEWS:
My handy dandy Garmin will give turn by turn directions.  It will speak to me. It will guide me (by voice) through every turn I need to get to the closest McDonalds 121 kilometers from here.  And also the next 8 closest, which is a max of 132 kilometers.  It will take me right through the Caja mountains and up to the drive through window.  Is that wretched or what.


I am a terrible photographer.  And some how the auto focus gets confused by the backlit touch screen.  So maybe you might have trouble reading the text.   But here you go.

Super Size Mine!
If there is a motel next door.........
.......... what an interesting way to spend a weekend!

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Friday, July 22, 2011

You Gotta Love It ......

OK now ........


So yesterday, I am dong some errands by bicycle.  I have always loved scooting around on 2 wheels.  When I was a young(er) man, I did lots of cycling ...... pedal type, not motor type.  By lots, I mean coast to coast type long distance as well as daily life.  In fact, when the Brennie and I met, she didn't even know I had a car until after we had known each other for over a year.


Anyway .........


So I am scooting around town on my velociped (bicycle), and on the way home I get to grind up this couple block long hill that goes from New Town to El Centro.  Those that live here will know the street.  It goes from Ave Loja /Tres de Noviembre up to Calle Larga.  It is kind of steep, so I am pedaling and breathing hard.  The road is usually crowded and traffic is slow.   Seeing as how I am pedaling, I get to weave through the traffic and play leap frog with the vehicles.


There are always busses on that little stretch of incline.  AND, most of the busses spew nasty diesel exhaust.  So, it is not a real healthy couple blocks.  You know, hard breathing plus toxic exhaust.


So, one of the vehicles I am playing leap frog with is this nasty toxic bus.  It has a sign painted on the back .......... which of course is filthy dirty from the lovely diesel fumes.  So, one of the times the bus spews by me, I read the sign on the back.  The sign proudly proclaimes, in Spanish........ "Cuenca, A City Free of Cigarette Smoke."


I then noticed that this little brag was also painted on the side of the bus.  Much easier to read there.


Like I said, you gotta love it.


Life is sweet,
Clarke

Friday, July 15, 2011

"Precious Things ......

..... Come in Small Packages."

I must have heard that  saying 500 times from my mother. No exaggeration. Mom claimed to be 4' 11 3/4". So, she had a vested interest in the whole precious / small concept. Personally, I think that she probably stood closer to 4' 10", but I never had the stones to express that. She was a tough gal ........ all 4' 7" inches of her.


Back to the precious / small concept .... BANANAS AND CARROTS!


They CARROTS here are THICK stubby little things.  But they are great!  For my money, they are much better than the typical carrot found in the US.  To me they are sweeter and more moist.  I love 'em.


There are many types of BANANAS here.  I can't even pretend to speak intelligently about all the different varieties.  Some are just for cooking (frying?) .......... must be an acquired taste.  My favorite bananas are called 'ORITOS'.  They are short little fellars with no edges running down the outside.    They are great.  They are much sweeter and the meat is firmer than what one is used to in the states.  They are fabulous.  They are even good without peanut butter on them.  Yeah, that good!


I don't really need to label this pic, do I?


OTHER YUMMIES:

  • Avocados (aquacate) - you get about 3 -5 for $1 (depending on size).  At first, I ate about one a day.  Some days, I forget.  I am down to 3 or 4 a week now.  There are so many ways to eat these treasures.  Correction:  one 'eats' them with their mouth.  I guess it would be correct to say there are so many ways to 'serve' or 'prepare' them'
  • Maracuya - aka passion fruit.  Love the juice from those babies.  There is a place around the corner that I get liters of homemade maracuya yogurt.  FYI, the yogurt is the liquid drinking type.  Love it.  You can also get maracuya ice cream at many of the 1000 ice cream places in town.  I like to put maracuya ice cream and chocolate in the same bowl ...... about half and half.
  • Ceviche - holy mother of god!
  • and other stuff too numerous to mention.
Life is sweet,
Clarke

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Whales and Such

Oh my oh my ........


Been so busy ....... accomplishing so little.


In the end of May (Predictions and Dire Warnings), I shared a concern that this whole contentment / early retirement was simply some type of delusional side trip through mental illness ....... that maybe I truly hated this new life and was was too confused to realize it. Therefore we took a trip to Vilcabamba to try to re-connect with reality. Sadly the re-connection did not work ...... still found ourselves with nothing to complain about. So, in desperation we were planning a trip to the coast to try to re-establish our bearings. Try to re-establish some tenuous connection with reality.


So, we went to the coast for 5 days recently while our daughter Caitie was visiting. Fired up the old go-fast (car), plugged in the GPS and headed out.


Sadly, our little trip to Puerto Lopez, did not do the trick. We had the misfortune of staying at this wreck of a place ....... http://www.hosteriamandala.info/. We spent days walking on the beach, eating fresh sea food, whale (and porpoise) watching and taking a boat out to Isla la Plata (aka "The Poor Man's Galapagos). Alas, I am still saddled with this false contentment. And here are some pics to prove it.......


Click here to see more pics.

I am a terrible photographer ........

and am too lazy to edit or select pics ......

so I just dumped them all up there.


But we are not going to give up. Maybe a visit to this dump next time will help us to clear our heads ....... http://www.balsasurfcamp.com/accueil/index.html


Life is sweet,

Clarke


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Reality Check
Myth Buster

IS CUENCA PARADISE?


No, of course not.


Before reading any further, know this:

I absolutely love my life here. I have found in Cuenca (almost) everything that I have ever wanted. For me, it is a dream come true. I have a saying that I use to describe my new life. “It is everything that I ever hoped for, and more than I ever expected”.


WHY I AM WRITING THIS PARTICULAR BLOG ENTRY:

I got an email the other day with a link to a new blog. The sender was anonymous as was the blogger. I believe that the sender and the blogger are one in the same. I don't know if the blog author was a man or woman, so I will just refer to the writer at 'he'.


In the blog he was taking issue with many of the descriptions of Cuenca as found on the various blogs. He believed that they presented an unrealistic picture of life here. In reality, I think that he was on point with much of what he said. However he wrapped his message in a nasty vitriolic rant. It was really quite ugly. Too bad he chose to express himself this way as the truth of SOME of what he said was lost due to his poisonous presentation.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


A thing to remember about most of the blogs. Yes they do tend to present a rosy picture. Of course. Most of the people that blog about their life here, blog about what they like. And, there is a lot to like. However, nothing is ever perfect and the frustrations and/or down sides don’t seem to get much mention in the blogs.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


We have lived here slightly over a year. A couple years ago, we came down and lived in a rented apartment for 2 months. We thought that 2 months would give us an accurate taste of 'living' rather than vacationing. Well, yes and no.


A 2 week or 2 month visit will not really give an accurate picture. Because visiting IS different than settling in, setting up house and starting a new chapter in your life.


THE FOLLOWING ARE MY OPINIONS AND OBSERVATIONS ONLY.


Cost of living: DO NOT believe everything you read or hear. Yes, many things are much cheaper here. These include most of the day to day living expenses. But there are also some things that are much more expensive. Specifically, quality imported goods are very expensive ........ cars, motorcycles, electronics and appliances. The cost of settling in can be horrendous. Those things you might sell at home at garage sale prices are often the types of things you will have to replace here at very high cost. There are many one-time purchases that can be through the roof. Housing (rentals) are much cheaper than in the US. I have heard some people say the prices are going up. I have seen a few ‘looking for’ ads that are simply delusional. Do not believe everything you read on the Internet.


Residency visas: For us, it went exactly as our lawyers explained. This is not true for some of our friends. Whether it goes smoothly or not, it is not cheap.


Children visits: It can get real spendy getting the kids here for visits.


This is a different culture with different social norms and customs. Some things here are simply not what North Americans are used to. Period. This is not a matter of good or bad. Just different. For instance:

- Public urination is common. The US is an automobile culture ..... people drive to any and all destinations ....... even a couple blocks. This is more of a walking culture with almost no public restrooms. I am a walker. I might go for a 1, 2 or 3 hour walk. Very few businesses will allow you to use their restroom. As a walker, I understand public urination and am now a (modest) participator.

- Being on time. It is no exaggeration to say that many service calls and deliveries are not only late or very late, but are simply no-shows.

- Deadlines. It seems that if you ask when something will be done, the polite thing to do is to tell you a deadline that you want to hear. That is the polite thing to do. However it is not impolite to not meet the deadline.

- Cutting in line. Driving, standing in line in the store, in line at a government office. Doesn't matter. It is cultural, not rude.

- Staring. Sometimes I feel like I must have 2 heads.

- Nose picking. Yep, lots of that. Get used to it.


Efficiency: If North American efficiency is important to you, you could get very frustrated here.


Noise: Plan to live in the city? Honking horns and car alarms are a way of life here.


Red tape: All official procedures here are knee deep in red tape. Sometimes it can take 20 minutes to pay for something as simple as a gas space heater ...... even a cash sale. You can either go with the flow or have a heart attack or stroke. Your choice.


Food: In my opinion, much healthier than in the US. But often the ‘comida tipica’ is not to American taste. My yardstick for health value of food ........ the worse it tastes, the healthier it probably is. The comida tipica is very healthy.


Control: Do you have a need to be in control? You may without even knowing it. If you are unsure if you possess this need, you will certainly find out here. It seems that so much is simply out of your control here. Once again .... go with the flow, heart attack or stroke.


Business practices: I have heard many gringos complain about shady or unethical business practices. This may or may not be true. The bottom line is that the only person truly looking out for my best interest is me. If you are impulsive, impatient or careless, things may not work out in your best interests. Due diligence is important in any foreign country.


Liability laws and personal responsibility: Quite frankly, I welcome the local attitude. A personal injury lawyer would starve to death here.


Availability and quality of consumer goods: Often not what you are used to. It seems to me that many of the consumer goods are inferior in quality. Return policies in stores are simple. No returns. Many gringos have items of preference regularly brought down to them. As I tell my son and daughter, “We pay for your ticket. You mule our stuff for us.”


Perfect weather?: There are many evenings, especially the last 2 months, that I would love to go to the wall and turn on the heat. What heat? So we have space heaters. We picked up an electric blanket on our trip to Kansas. Lots of rain the last couple months also. The good news is we don’t need air conditioning.


Diesel fumes from busses and delivery trucks: Ghastly.


High speed Internet: The definition of broadband is different here. You can get relatively good speeds coupled with reliability. But it can be spendy.


Petty crime: Pickpockets, muggings, etc. I personally feel safer here than in Kansas City or Portland. But this is a city. There is a major disparity between the rich and the poor. Gringos are perceived as rich. So, if you are naive, careless, stupid, or unlucky ....... you could be making a donation. Unlike in US cities, you will likely lose your wallet or cell phone rather than your life.


Life is sweet,

Clarke






Thursday, June 2, 2011

Weird Bus Ride

Ok now .....

So as any Cuencano will tell you, red tape has been elevated to an art form here. It seems that anything official is (at the least) multi step. Most of these steps seem to be in different offices scattered around different edges of town. OK, we are used to this.

So now for the weird part:

I had to take care of some official business today. (Doesn't matter what.) One weird thing was that all four steps were in the SAME BUILDING! Weird. True, 4 different lines, but, all in the same building. But, not actually lines. You got to sit in seats and wait for your number to come up on the screen. (Repeat ..... sit in seats. Inside. No outside lines.) OK, that is kind of a lie. The first line was standing outside. But it wasn't raining and was in the shade, and was less than 15 minutes.

So , yeah, it is true that was almost 3 hours waiting for my number to come up those different times. But it was all in one building. Seated .... not standing. And it all worked out. Well, except for the part where I have to go back tomorrow. (Step 5)

NOW ..... for the weird bus ride:
Because it was all in one place, I only had to take one bus to this particular edge of nowhere. But the odd thing about the bus ride itself ...... actually odd things:
- the bus driver was not a race car driver at heart.
- the bus driver did not do jackrabbit starts with people still walking down the aisle
- the bus driver never slammed on his brakes
- the bus driver kept all 4 wheels (actually 6 wheels) on the ground in all the turns
- the bus driver smiled
- the bus driver made change
- the bus driver did not cut off any other drivers
- the bus driver drove safely
- the bus driver was probably medicated
- the bus driver will probably lose his job

The other day I was in a bus where the driver took a corner so fast that the tilt of the bus set off alarms. Nope, not making that up.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Predictions and Dire Warnings

I retired a year ago. Moved to Cuenca 2 days later.


Friends and colleagues predicted that I could never adjust to a life of leisure. That I would get bored within a year. That I would would be looking for some type of work. Something to keep me busy. That being idle would drive me nuts. I suspect the predictions were based on the last several years, I worked 80 hours/week 5 months a year and 50 hours/week the other 7 months. (Long story.)


I don’t know. Maybe they’re right. Maybe it has driven me nuts and I just don’t know it. Maybe doing exactly what I want every single day has loosened some of my screws. Maybe finding exactly the place we had been seeking for 15 years pushed me over the edge. Maybe all those years of being at work at 7:30 AM was the sane part and that this is the nuts part.


Maybe I truly hate my life of early retirement in south america but am too far gone to realize it. On the off chance that is true, we decided to take a break from our pitiful existence and go to the Hosteria Izhcayluma in Vilcabamba for a few days. Maybe a few days of spas, massages, long walks, good food and leisure would jolt us back to reality.


Sadly, it didn’t. Upon our return to Cuenca yesterday, I find that I am still deluded. Still saddled with this false contentment. Still lacking drive and ambition. But, please don’t feel sorry for me. We chose this life and will just have to live with it.


Maybe we will have to go to the coast soon. Maybe there I can find and re-kindle my good old Kansas work ethic. Gee, I sure hope so.


Some pics:










Life is sweet,

Clarke

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

This Has NOTHING To Do With Ecuador Or Cuenca.
In Fact, It Is Not Even Worth Reading

So, I was gong to leave a comment on Rich and Nancy's blog. Nancy posted about a bunch of 'bad' things that happened in their kitchen all at once. She wasn't complaining, just observing. (http://richandnancy.blogspot.com/2011/05/those-so-called-bad-days-but-whos.html)

So ........ I was going to leave one of those folksy little folk wisdom type sayings that just make me want to wretch. Something like, "Gee whiz Aunt Bea, it must be those bad days that make the good ones so .......... whatever.".

So, I get curious and I Google 'folk wisdom'. Holy Mother of God! Such collections of profound wisdom. I only went to a couple of the sites. They even LOOK like one would expect.

I do have two favorite folk wisdom sayings. But if I express one, I always make it a point to express the other immediately.
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
- Out of sight out of mind.

Folksy - yep.
Wisdomy - dubious.

Aren't you glad you wasted your time reading this?

Life is sweet,
Clarke

PS: I am not sure which is worse: Folk Wisdom or Pop Psychology.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Registering The Car

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

WHAT A PROCESS!!


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I HATE long detailed blog entries. However, this is NOT a short process.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Our car is used. A 2010. So maybe a new car is easier.


We got the car through Santiago so he had already gotten much of the paperwork done. He already had:

1. The purchase/sales contract (and copies) with multiple signatures. It is a 2 page contract.

2. Original and color copies of the Matricula (title/license) for the previous owner.

3. Color copies of the prior owner’s Cedulas (kind of a national ID card)

4. Original and color copies of the SOAT (proof of liability insurance).

5. Color copies of Brenda and my Cedulas



So, armed with the above, off we go:

1. SRI office. Some kind of taxing place where they determine the tax we must pay. Wait for 1 1/2 to 2 hours and then see ‘the kid’. The kid looks about 15 years old. Seems to be wearing his dad’s or older brother’s suit. In about 5 minutes, he tells me that I will owe about $1000 in taxes and that I need to wait an hour or two and go to a bank and pay it. Can’t pay it there. Remember the kid, because he screwed up and we will have to get back to fixing this.

2. Go to bank, tell them what I have to do and like magic we are $1000 poorer but I have 2 very pretty pieces of paper to be added to the things above.

3. Waiting a few days here because Brennie and I are in the process of signing up for driving school.

4. Back to registering the car. Go to transit dept and find the right line. The first window we go to is actually a exterior window in one of the old buildings. The officials are inside and the customers are outside. Luckily it is not raining. Hand them all the papers and they look at them and make some marks on them add some more signatures and stamps and send us down the street with something written on a scrap of paper ....... yeah, literally a scrap. We were in that line about 30 to 45 minutes.

5. Go down the street with the scrap of paper. Stand in line and pay ..... I forget. Maybe $20 and get another official piece of paper.

6. Go to another building couple blocks in the other direction (the window is in a parking lot) where they check to see if the car has any tickets or other claims against it owing to the state. This paper is only good for 3 days and it is Thursday. All govt office are closed Friday (Good Friday) so the paper will be no good by the time we need it on Monday.

7. So we go to the neighboring town where a physical inspection is made of the car. it is actually pretty cool, They seem to check exhaust, lights, brakes, VIN, etc. This is the place that would be impossible to find if you didn’t know where it was. Luckily Santiago did. Anyway, pay them $40 and get 2 more pieces of official paper. Total time there is about 2 hours.

8. Following the Easter Holiday, I go back to the window in #6 above and get another official piece of paper. The car doesn’t owe any fines to the govt. Good. This costs nothing. By the way, by this time I am carrying my Ipad with me so that I can read while I stand in line.

9. & 10. Then to another window in another building to have another fee assessed. The guy looks at all the papers and my Cedula, signs, stamps, makes checkmarks on my paprers and sends me to yet another window (different building) to pay the $50. They give me yet another piece of official paper. ...... signed, stamped, etc.

11. Finally, I should have all the papers and stamps, so I meet up with Santiago and we go back to the Transit Dept to get the Matricula (title or license). We stand in line about 45 - 60 minutes and get to the window with many papers. All signed, stamped, initialed, etc. The gal finds an error and sends us to another window.

12. We go to the window (stand in line) to find out that the kid that assessed in #1 above and that I paid in #2 above screwed up. He had me pay an additional fee of about $50 that I didn’t have to. We said “No problem. Keep it.” Unfortunately, they can’t do that.

13. Instead, we have to write a letter requesting the money be transferred back to my bank a/c. This letter must include multiple pieces of info and be accompanied by a form from my bank along with a couple other forms.

14. Santiago heads back to his office to have the secretary start the letter and I go to the bank for yet another form.

15. Two days later I collect the letter and accompanying docs from Santiago’s secretary, go back to Transito Dept and go stand in the ‘Edaunancion’ (or something) line again.

16. The gal tells me that I need a copy of the letter. So out to the copy stand and back to the gal. She looks over all the docs again. Stamps and signs the letter and the copy. Keeps the original letter and accompanying 5 pages of docs. She adds the stamped and signed copy to the sheaf of paper I am hustling around with me.

17. She tells me to go to the ‘Matricula line. That is either window #5 or 6. They are labelled.

18. I am not crazy about this because this is the same line as in step 11 from 2 days ago. After about 5 minutes, someone else in line tells me I should be at window (‘window’ is spelled L-I-N-E) #9.

19. So I go to #9. When it is my turn, the guy examines every piece of paper that I have now collected, had signed, stamped and verified. There are about 15 of them. No kidding! He signs some of them, stamps some of them and puts more check marks on most of them. AND HE KEEPS THEM ALL. He tells me to go to line #5 again.....empty handed. Line 5 was last seen in steps 11, 17 &18.

20. So I return to line #5 empty handed and nervous. When it is finally my turn to see the gal in window 5 (again), she asks my name and verifies my address, etc. She prints out two pieces of paper, asks me for $40 and sends me to window 10.

21. The gal in window 10 stamps and signs the papers that I got in step 20. Returns the 2 sheets of paper to me and tells me to return in 45 days for the Matricula.



HOLY SH*T!!

I THINK IT IS DONE


A COUPLE NOTES:

1. None of the above is exaggerated. The truth is astounding enough without having to exaggerate.

2. What I didn’t mention is that at most of the steps above, the official, examined and made checkmarks on most of the previous docs. Often this included an additional stamp accompanied by his/her signature.



Life is sweet,

Clarke


Friday, May 6, 2011

A Few Notes About the Driving Course

PETA and ASPCA will be happy to know that after the chicken mishap and the small incident with the dog, no other animals were harmed or killed in this production.

My driving time was 6 - 9 AM every day, so ...... a little sleep deprived.

Both the driving test and the written test (in Spanish) were today.

Almost had a wreck in the driving part. As I pulled away from a stop sign, a cab came barreling around a corner. Had to really punch it to get out of his way. The car I used in the test was MUCH BETTER than the one for all the practice driving. If I was in the practice driving car ..... well, no such thing as punching that wreck.

The driving test was from 8 - 9 AM ....... which is rush hour. Oh my. Not real fun. There are two rondelles (roundabouts) in town that always avoid on my moto or my bike. They are absolute nightmares. Wanna guess where I was during rush hour? Final score 19.3 / 20. I'll take it.

Got 19 /20 on the written test. The one that I missed was due to an interpretation problem. The question itself was 2 full sentences of Spanish ..... I mis-read the last word. It basically asked, if while driving, should we be concerned about the driving of others on the road? Duh. I interpreted it as ....... should we worry about 'women' drivers? I thought it was kind of a weird question. 'Demas' is not the same as 'Damas'.

Anyway the course is over. After I get the certificate (a couple weeks from now), I get to go take the government test. Yippee!

It was a dreadful and stressful week. Can't wait to go back to doing .......... well, doing nothing productive.

Time for a nap.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Cujo of Ecuador
AKA
Driving - Day 2

Okey -Dokey Now.

I think that my behind-the-wheel driving instructor (Johnny) is a country boy at heart. About half the behind-the-wheel time yesterday was spent on every god forsaken unpaved road in the mountains south of town. Potholes, chickens, dirt, etc. A real ckicken-running-over type of day. Did I mention potholes? Or maybe potholes?

TODAY:
After todays 3 hours of behind-the-wheel time, I yearn for yesterday. This time we went into the mountains north of town. The villages, the scenery, views .... fabulous. But, holy mother of god, the roads! P-r-i-m-i-t-i-v-e would be flattering. Use your imagination here and you might, just might be close. Cows, chickens and all sundry of 2 and 4 legged beasties sharing the one lane dirt roads. Only actually had to wait once for the cows to clear me a path: and they were in NO hurry.

But What About Cujo?
Lots and lots of dogs in the villages. I don't know if they were pets or street dogs. But there were a lot. They were a mangy bunch of curs ...... actually many mangy bunches of curs. Many were pretty good size. Few found me charming. One of them (Cujo) went after the car. Seriously went after it. I was driving slow as there really wasn't much choice. Anyway, I DID NOT hit him or run over him. And I don't know if he actually attacked the car or what. But there was a distinct and heavy thump in the left rear of the car as I was passing that horrible creature.

I'm just happy that I wasn't on my bicycle or motorcycle.

I wonder where Johnny is having me drive tomorrow?

Life is sweet,
Clarke