Clarke and Brennie ....Next Stage.

Scorpoppers and Snurms

2012-01-24T13:42:00.000-06:00

Some of you may remember (the oh-so-forgettable) post I did on the famous goat-dogs (dog-goats?) of Cuenca. As some of you may know, this was the style of engaging, in-depth and thought provoking writing that resulted in this humble blog being awarded the coveted 'Dorkie' for 2009.. Recently this humble blog was awarded the 2010 and 2011 Dorkie. The two years were awarded simultaneously (that means at the same time) because the award committee was in rehab for most of 2010.

Anyway ........ on to the Scorpoppers and Snurms ..........

Snurms:

Snake or Worm?
Snurm, Snorm or Wake?

This 'little fellar' would have been a good 8" long if I had straightened hm out.
Brennie told me not to touch him 'cause he might have had fangs hidden in there.

Scorpoppers:

Scorpion or just a scary littl grasshopper fellar?
Scorpopper or Grasspion?

I was told that ...'yeah it has a stinger back there, but it is not poisonous.
Opted not to test it.

Life is Sweet,
Clarke

Alzheimer's and Retirement?

2012-01-15T14:14:00.003-06:00

You know what 'they' say about holding back the dreaded Alzheimer's?

'They' say that getting plenty of exercise helps ..... both mental and physical.

So ............

Learning to Play Bridge: Bridge is the king of card games. I have always wanted to learn to play. Just never had the time or opportunity before. So ....... at age ______ (fill in blank), I am taking it up. It is much more complicated than __________ (fill in blank again with just about any card game). Anyway, it is great mental exercise. It is fairly complicated and I count myself lucky if I can grasp one new concept each time I play.

I have heard/read:
- That it takes a year to learn how to play and 5 years to get any good.
- That it takes 10 years of playing 20 hours/week to get good.
- That I don't stand a chance. (This kinda hurt and I don't think the Brennie should have said it.)

My mom was a very serious bridge player. I think that she and her friends played for 1/4 or 1/2 penny a point. She played right up until she passed away in her mid 80's. She was sharp as a tack. We also found a bag of (bridge) money in her condo. It had 100's of dollars in it! It was either her bridge money or she was hoarding pennies, nickels, dimes .......... 1's and 5's. She wasn't the hoarding type

Learning to Speak Spanish: Holy Mother of God! You want to see if anything is working upstairs? Try learning a new language at my age. I have always had trouble with languages. They do NOT come naturally to me.

I flunked German 2 years running in high school. Well, I didn't actually study much. But I didn't think that I really should have to. German was (mostly) the first language I spoke. And I spoke more German than English until I was three and a half. I (wrongly) figured that just being exposed to it every day in class ....... and it would float back to the conscious surface. I was determined in this passive approach. I am using a different approach with Spanish and it is working (a little ..... but not much) better.

Physical Exercise: Cuenca is a walking city. That is one of the reasons we moved here. I love to walk and ride my bicycle around town. My preferred modes of transport are (in order of preference): walk if there is time, bicycle (going by myself and am in a semi-hurry), bus and motorcycle (a tie for 3rd and 4th depending on circumstances), and last is taking the car. So I think that I am covered on the exercise thing.

Uh ......... I forgot what I was going to say next. Gotta question if this mental and physical exercise BS is working all that well! OR. Maybe it is just too late.

LIfe is Sweet,
Clarke

PS: Who is the 'they' that are always saying what is what? I think that 'they' are just a convenient construct when someone wants to back up their own 'opinion' with some type of bogus authority figure or expert status. It is my opinion that 'they' say that for a harmonious and happy house, at least one cigar should be smoked inside each and every day. That's what 'they' say! (That is the demi-rant for the day.)

OMG! The Brennie just walked in. She is eating a raw turnip. We have plenty of chocolate bars in the cupboard. What is wrong with her?

Holiday Reflections

2012-01-08T17:51:00.001-06:00

I have to admit that over the years, I truly came to hate Christmas and so much that it represented.

Bah and Humbug!

Many years ago, the Christmas Season followed Thanksgiving. In more recent years, the commercial madness started with Halloween or even before. All the hype, advertising, commercialization, the often overdone decorations, the plastic Santas lit up everywhere and the PRESSURE. There was never any doubt as to how many more shopping days until Xmas. Christmas became Xmas. Xmas became this monstrous, horrid thing. The poor children. They were deluged with all the advertising ...... brainwashed, driven to a frenzy. Truly victimized. The total insanity of it all. God, I grew to hate it.

Christmas became Xmas and Xmas belonged to Madison Avenue, Hasbro and Toys R Us. (Sorry, can't get the 'R' backwards.)

I could go on and on about the perversion of what should be a lovely time of year ...... but I won't. You should get the drift by now.

Switch Now to Cuenca:

You want to know what Christmas is about here? (I can only observe from my standpoint .... only give my impressions.) But Christmas here is about F-A-M-I-L-Y. Yep, family! Wow, what a cool concept. Take a look at the pictures from the prior post. It is the Christmas parade of the children! There are still parades almost daily. NOT the Parade of Roses. Not the Macy's Parade. FAMILY parades. Funky ..... not grand. The parades are full of children and parents. Oopsie, can't forget to mention the fireworks.

You gotta love it! It is like it might have been long ago in the states. You know ...... 'the good old days'? I don't know for sure what it was like 100 years ago in the states. But I suspect it was more like it is here now.

I am not totally naive. I know that Christmas is a commercial event here too. But, it is a far cry from the perverted insane nightmare that it has become in the states.

Okey dokey. All done with my little rant.

Life is Sweet,
Clarke

Another Day in Cuenca

2011-12-31T07:58:00.000-06:00

Go ahead and make up your own captions.

What can I say other than........

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Beware Of ..........

2011-12-21T15:44:00.001-06:00

ECUADORIAN MAPS AND SHORTCUTS

Took little trip to Banos (not the village a couple miles out of Cuenca ........ went to the other Banos) last week . Basically went up the Pan Am Hwy to Riobambe. The map shows a secondary road from Riobabmba to Banos. This looks much shorter than continuing north on the Pan Am to Ambato and then turning south at Ambato to go to Banos ...... second leg also a secondary road. Looks like the direct route from Riobamba to Banos is about half of the Riobamba - Ambato - Banos option. Looks like, if you can find it that is. Found no road sign leading us to this shortcut. Drove aimlessly through Riobamba asking directions and was told just about every different way to find the road ..... all fails. Finally saw an I-Tour office and they said the shortcut: 1) sucked .... terrible road, and 2) it was closed anyway. So we went the long way ..... which would have been fast way if we hadn't searched for the short way ..... which sucked and was closed to boot.

Finally made it to Banos and found our place. Wish Trip Advisor had mentioned that it was ........... never mind, Left the place a couple days early and decided to go east to Puyo. Not sure why. Puyo is on the edge of the Amazon and is really cool if you: 1) go to the most expensive resort there, and 2) never leave the resort. Kind of a Disney version of the Amazon. I left the resort and did considerable walking around. Had a lot of trouble finding the charm. Great place to go live if you are a fugitive and want a place where no one would think to look. However, weird ...... almost no biting insects. I figure the snakes must eat them.

So, now a choice on how to get back. There is a road (fairly straight ) that parallels the Pan Am Hwy back down south. But it is on the wrong side of the mountains from Cuenca. I hear the road is nice, but it is kind of iffy on how to make the transition over the mountains to get to Cuenca once we get down south. Apparently there are two roads crossing the mountains. Looking at 5 different maps ...... no two maps show both roads. A couple maps show one road, a couple maps show he other, a couple shows neither. By different maps, I am referring to print maps, mapblast.com (Bing), Google maps and the Garmin GPS. Whatever maps we are looking at, suggest the transition east/west road is okay. I talk to a friend that tried it a few weeks ago, and he says everything was good until he got to the landslide that forced him to turn around and go the loooong way back to the Pan Am Hwy what with all the backtracking. But, you know, the landslide is probably clear now.

So off we go south on this road. Starts out great .....beautiful paved, new black top, straight road (for Ecuador), little traffic. Life is sweet.

So we get to the decision about which if the ease/west roads to take over the mountains. One looks about twice as long and it only shows up on oue of our mapes as a dotted line. We know that neither are going to be great roads. The locals tell us to take the short road which is about 50 km further down the nice paved road (but now really winding) to the turnoff for it. So we do. We ask a local and he says it was gravel, but not bad. LIAR!

We get to it and realize ....... it has never been paved and is under construction to boot. There is a huge sign hanging over it that says "Via Cerrada Para Construction" (Road Closed for Construction). But it is a Saturday. We start up the road. About 4 miles in (and before it got really bad, we see a truck coming the other way. He tells us the road is open all the way, but is rough gravel. We have 4 wheel drive, so we plow ahead.

He should have said that rough gravel is the best part of it. Many times on that road, I would have given $100 for a rough gravel stretch. Imagine any and all the things you do not want to find on a mountain road. It was all there. At one point where it was real narrow, slippery wet clay and a 500 -600 sheer drop, the Brennie simply but a jacket over her head. 45+ miles and 3 hours later, we emerge from this great shortcut. We were the only car we saw on it. There were pickups and road building equipment. We had to stop a few times for landslide clearing and other equipment doing stuff. Only bottomed out the car a few times ..... thats a horrible noise.

But we made it home and no one can call us gutless weenies! Dumb asses, yes. Gutless weenies, no.

Oh yeah, cell reception on our lovely shortcut. None.

Scenery do die for .... and might have.

Did I mention the spot where they were building the new bridge? Got to drive through the river. Shallow thank god!

You want pics?

Mud.
But Wide.

Again.
Mud but wide.

Can you see the snipers in the trees?

More wide and muddy.
I guess the only time we took pics was when we were stopped.

The good news ...... after a drive like this, you can get your car leaned 'completo' for $9 or less. Inside, out, windows (in and out again), undercarriage and engine compartment.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

PS: The road was much worse than these sad-*ss pics suggest.

PPS: Did I mention that before we left Puyo and took the alternate road south (good road) and the hell road across the mountains that I asked in Puyo about whether to go that way or backtrack down the Pan Am Hwy. I asked at 2 I-Tour offices in Puyo and and two cops. They all said to take the Pan Am Hwy and not the way we did. But the then the whole 'gutless weenie' thing came in to play and we had a lovely adventure. Can't wait to do it after the new road is in!

Selling the Apartment

2011-12-10T22:21:00.003-06:00

Sometimes this retired life gets really complicated.

For instance, I was going to post a new blog entry and I wanted to include some pics.

So I thought ........well, I went to the dermatologist the other day and had a bunch of (benign pre cancer something keta-somethings) stuff burned off. Actually frozen off, but it sure as hell felt like burning. Resulting in blisters and pretty scabs ...... kind of like burning but without the lovely smell.

Anyway, I thought that I could post some pics of my pretty forehead. Brennie says that is disgusting. So, she told me to put up some info on our apartment that we have decided to sell. And she says that I can put up pics of the apartment too.

So ..... back to the apartment:

We recently put in a new kitchen and bath and tore a wall out of the downtown apartment. It’s great. Now I really love the energy of living in El Centro and I love the apartment. Brennie prefers the house and especially having a little yard for Bugger and Wanker. I agree that the house is lovely and the yard is nice. So, I can either enjoy downtown and the newly remodeled apartment as a single man, or live with Brennie and the beasties.

When we started the remodel, we were planning on keeping the apartment for a long time. David Morril at Cuenca Real Estate says that real estate is appreciating at about 10% a year. So it makes good sense to keep the apartment and rent it out. BUT, I have been a landlord before and I DO NOT ENJOY IT.

SO. NOW WE HAVE A DOWNTOWN (EL CENTRO) APARTMENT FOR SALE:

Location: 1 1/2 blocks from Parque Calderon, Carolina Store, Kookaburras Restaurant, and the Tomebamba River. Midway between Parque Calderon and the Tomebamba River. Corner of Luis Cordero and Honorato Vasquez. Basically right in the center of everything.

Unique apartment: There may be other apartments in El Centro that offer what this one does. But if there are, I don’t know of them.

1) 6th story apartment in a 2 or 3 story neighborhood.

2) Huge balcony. Combined with #1 ..... makes for a great view. The pic at the top of the blog is of Brennie standing on the balcony.

3) Elevator to the door. No steps.

4) Within a couple blocks of ..... you name it. Just about everything.

Price: We would like one million dollars, but will settle for 1/8th of that. (That works out to $125,000.) Slightly more if purchased through a realtor..

Rooms: 2 big bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, large vestibule/foyer/entryway, kitchen, dining room and living room.

Size:: Very spacious. I think the title says that it is about 1600 sq feet. I have never measured to figure it out and I don’t know if this includes the balcony (45‘ x 6’) or the laundry/maid’s room (with shower and stool) which is on the covered roof. But the rooms are big. For instance (this is from memory) ...... The foyer is something like 8’ x 13’, dining room is 13’ x21’ (holy sh*t!), the bedrooms are approx 15’ x 15’)

View: The building was built in the early 70’s. It is a six story building in El Centro. Most of the buildings in El Centro are OLD and only 2 or 3 stories, So the view is fabulous. The apartment is on the top floor, the entire front half of the building. The balcony runs across the entire front of the building (45’). I love it. I guess that you could call it a penthouse.

Elevator: Yep. Right to the front door.

New Kitchen and Bath: Never been used. We re-did the other bath several months ago. I had always wanted a urinal and finally got one. Now, it will be someone else’s. Granite countertops in the kitchen. Marble top in the bath we did a few months ago.

This is actually the Dining Room.
Don't be fooled by the couch, etc.

Floors and Windows: The floors are all wood (actual wood) except in the kitchen and bathrooms. Those are porcelain. Windows in the living, dining and front bedroom are custom wood 2” blinds. The other bedroom has a (custom) other kind of thing which I can’t explain. The wood floors have been refinished.

Utilities, Taxes and Condo Fees: The water, gas and electric total about $35/month. Taxes are $28/year. Condo Fees .. $72/month.

That green thing at the top
is the awning on the balcony.

Professional Building: Almost the entire building are offices. Mostly lawyers. They made us feel very welcome and we miss them. There are 2 other apartments in the building. Our apartment is top floor front. The other two apartments are on the top two floors in the back of the building.

CLICK HERE

to see more pics

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Brennie Saves The Day

2011-11-30T07:27:00.002-06:00

Today is Wednesday.

Monday I wrote (but did not post) a blog that I titled ‘Guilt and Self Loathing’. It was about ....... guilt and self loathing. Because I was riddled with ........

Why was I feeling that way?

It was a Monday.

I was not at work.

I was sitting on my *ss reading for pleasure.

I had nothing planned to do that was remotely constructive.

I was being lazy and self indulgent.

I was feeling like a parasite.

The most constructive thing I did was to actually use an ash tray when I smoked a cigar.

Here are a couple excerpts from the ‘Blog That Didn’t Happen’:

“I was raised a ____________ (insert religion that controls and manipulates using guilt ....... yeah, you know the one I’m talkin’ about).”

“I have an overdeveloped work ethic.”

I even identified sloth as one of the seven deadly sins ...... and rightfully so. I expressed wonder that lust made the same list ......... after all, isn’t it just good clean fun?

I even had a suggestion for those of you out there still going to work every day. Don’t stop. Don’t retire early. Keep working. Preserve your self respect. Ramp it up to 7 days a week. Keep paying into Social Security till the day you die. (So that when I turn 62 there will be plenty for me.)

Anyway, how does Brennie save the day?

Does she get on line looking for another trip for us to take? Yes she does. But that’s not the cure.

Does she suggest that I can recapture my dignity and self worth by returning to work? She does. But I gallantly point out that if I take a job, it would deprive a more deserving person of the opportunity.

Does she tell me to get over it? That too. Doesn’t work.

Does she ignore me? Duh.

So, what does she do? How does she save the day?

She slips.

She falls.

She fractures her little wrist.

My life has purpose again!

Make the coffee.

Wash the dishes.

Make the bed?

Feed the dogs.

Take out the trash.

Make lunch.

Yippee!
I am a parasite no more.
There is work for me.
Once again the Brennie has saved the day.

She looks awfully cute with that little cast on her wrist.

Sorry, gotta go. Laundry to put away

Life is sweet again,

Clarke

Home Again Culture Shock.

2011-11-17T13:32:00.002-06:00

Okey Dokey, now.

When you have been gone from home for 6 weeks, there are some adjustments upon return.

Personal Safety: We spent roughly 3 weeks in Spain. The Spaniards are DILIGENT about following all the traffic laws. Possibly a lingering after effect of 40 years of Francisco Franco’s authoritarian dictatorship? Gee, I’ll bet that was jolly. Anyway ..... personal safety. Spanish drivers stop for pedestrians. Always. No exceptions. Almost to the point of being ridiculous. It is easy to lose one’s finely tuned Ecuadorian instinct for pedestrian self preservation. (13 words in that sentence ...... and lots of syllables .... and awkward to boot). The drivers in Spain lulled us into a false sense of safety. Anyway, must again get used to looking in ALL directions (twice) before crossing the street.

“Hey honey, where is the ________ kept?”: We moved into the house 8 weeks before we left for our trip. During much of that 8 weeks, things were getting moved around until most stuff finally found it’s home base. Then we left for 6 weeks. Now I can’t find anything. Forgotten where many things eventually ended up. This is frustrating and amusing. and a great way to kill time.

Eating: ‘Eating’ once again means food prep. Bad enough to eat almost all meals in restaurants in Spain and Morocco. But to finish it up with two weeks of eating on the cruise! We arrived home early Monday eve. Between no food in the house and having to prepared (and CLEAN UP), We didn’t eat here for about 24 hours. But that is okay because we were carrying around extra reserves from the cruise.

Our Comfy Bed: Our bed here is gloriously comfy. The same cannot be said for some of the beds we were in on the little trip.

Cleaning Up After Ourselves: It is easy to get used to daily maid service ....... not making the bed ....... dropping towels on the bathroom floor ....... eating, getting up and walking away. I left a couple towels on the bathroom floor Monday evening and Brennie has yet to pick them up and replace with clean ones. I wonder how long she will hold out.

Clean Clothes EVERY Day: We travelled light through Spain and Morocco. One piece of carry on luggage each. So we got used to wearing the same thing for multiple days. This was easy enough for me, as I tend to wear the same thing a lot. (Some people think that I wear the same white shirt every day here in Cuenca. Not true ...... I have 7 or 8 identical white shirts. I like white shirts and it is such an easy decision.) However Brennie is back onto the complicated dilemma of choosing what to wear. Girls are different than guys. Duh.

Cell Phones: Gotta admit, it was pretty sweet not having a cell phone for 6 weeks.

Sidewalks: Back to watching where you step. Anybody that lives here understands this.

Looking Like Tourists: Unfortunately, the only place I don’t look like a tourist is Kansas.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Tenerife, Canary Islands

2011-11-02T06:18:00.000-05:00

Can't find the d*mn canaries.

Been on board the ship for a few days ...... Where the Internet access is somewhere between $1 and $8 a MINUTE! But hey, the food is free! That's weird. Food which has to be loaded on board, cooked, served, cleaned up, etc. Is free. Internet which is impossible to hold in your hand, floats around on magical invisible waves, has zero mess etc ...... costs an arm and a leg

At Wifi hotspot in Tenerif now. Must leave soon or drink a 4th espresso. That's kind of weird too, isn't it? Renting Internet access by purchasing caffeine ..... which I believe is a drug.

Canaries or not ..... This place is beautiful.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Marrakech to Palma de Mallorca

2011-10-29T12:01:00.000-05:00

Ryan Air:
Ryan Air is interesting. Cheap flights. No Frills. NO FRILLS. All you get for the price of your ticket, is a seat and one carry-on of 10 kilos or less. That is one carry-on. ONE ..... not a carry-on and a personal item. EVERYTHING else costs extra.
- A chekced bag - extra.
- Bag of peanuts - extra.
- A soda - extra.
- If you pay for your checked bag at the ticket counter - extra. You must declare and pay for the checked bag when you check in online or - extra. That is, you pay for the checked bag and an additional 40 euros ($60) service charge if you do it at the ticket counter.
- If they print the boarding pass - extra.
- Reserved seat - NOT extra. Because NOT possible. First people on, get the seat of their choice. Last on ..... gets whatever is left. The line at the boarding gate was just short of a slug-fest.
- Licensed pilot - extra (kidding).
- We were going to take a pic of the plane - but we were afraid of an extra charge.
- Use the toilet - I heard they were pay toilets. But that may just be a rumor. Didn't check it out.
- Board and exit the plane - walk across the tarmac. They don't even rent a boarding ladder. It is built into the plane. I am surprised we didn't have to use the emergency exit and climb off the wing.
- Seats don't recline.
- Advertising posters on the inside of the cabin.
- In flight entertainment. Gee, you think?

The real job of the flight attendant is to sell products during the flight. They are constantly cruising the plane with carts of things to sell. Even lottery tickets. Ryan Air has their own lattery scam. I saw a lot of people buy the Ryan Air lottery tickets ... but I saw no winners.

Gotta love this airline.

Palma de Mallorca:
On the Island of Mallorca. East off the coast of Spain, In the Med. It is a beautiful city. Not really seeng the sights here, though We catch the cruise tomorrow for the last stage of the trip. 2 weeks crossing the Atlantic and docking in Panama. We have a few ports of call .... Canary Islands (no canaries there) and a few places in the Carribean.

It has bee a fabulous 4 weeks. But,looking forward to a couple weeks of REST on the ship.

Teaser:
Upcoming blog ..... DO's and DONT's when visiting Morocco.

CLICK HERE

for the last of the pics.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Last Day in Marrakech

2011-10-26T17:44:00.000-05:00

We are leaving Marrakech and Morocco tomorrow. Memorable. Different. Exceeded my hopes / expectations at the same time as falling short. Great experience.

Chuck, Brennie and Nancy all came down with some degree of not feeling so good. I did everything I could to to join them, but so far am unphased. I have always loved street food and have eaten my share of it here. Brenda says that I will probably end up with a tapeworm or one of it's little buddies. Maybe. The dates and figs! Wow!

Made some little snake friends.
The snake owners tried to charge me about $50.
I laughed and gave them pocket change.
I would have been a little more generous,
but was outraged by their demand of $50.
Still it was fun .... for me.

Cuenca has street dogs ... lots.
Morocco has cats.
Most of them are (look) amazingly healthy.
They are very friendly and will come rub up against you.
I really like them.
They don't charge to have their pics taken.

Olives. Lots of olives.
I am going to miss the olives.
They are served with every meal and
are really good in all their varieties.

Spices.
Sometimes it seems like the whole country spells of spices.
Yummy.

CLICK HERE
to see the last of the Morocco pics

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Marrakech Trivia and Haircut (etc)

2011-10-25T12:03:00.003-05:00

The Trivia:
- The mint tea is great. A simple recipe. Fresh mint and hot water. Sugar optional.
- The call to prayer (5 times a day). I love hearing it. It is done from each mosque. So if you are surrounded by mosques .... It is super-bob cool.
- Two main languages spoken here. Arabic and French. The French is pleasing to my ear. The Arabic ... exotic. So .... here is the question? Why do I try to speak Spanish to everyone?
- Our riad has a balcony overlooking the big square at the center of the medina. We can hear all the flutes (?) and drums constantly ..... from the snake charmers. Also very cool.
- I bought a bunch of fresh dates and figs from one of the many stalls on the square. I am sure I overpaid. But they are GOOD.
- The Brennie and I are spending the day on the roof of the raid .... and loving every minute of it. We are feeling no need to go out into the throng.
- Local hustlers have been calling me Ali Babba because of my beard.

The Haircut, Shave and Beard Trim:
Stepped out to find a medina barber. Walked down progressivly narrower streets. Found my barber. Watched the customer in front of me. Interesting multi-step process with lots of head rubbing and the fastest scissors I have ever seen. Went from one part of the head to the other and back again and again and again. The straight razor came out more than once for edging and other stuff too. Not really the same process I am used to. But a great show.

My turn. Haircut communicaton is a challenge in any language. But what the hell, I really don't care. Short and not a Mohawk. Got the haircut complete with all the flourishes It was so much fun, that I let him do the beard too. Lost most of the hair above my neck today. But hey. My hair is short. It will grow out quick, I have had worse and I have given myself worse. I doubt that I will be called Ali Babba any more.

Chuck and Nancy got a couple bracelets that I covet. I am really jealous. I want one too.. Maybe Nancy will post a pic. I won't. I am bitter.

Flower and plant market. Duh.

Hey Randy ..... this is the moto of choice here.
100's of them.

They come in Yamaha, too.

These guys were friendly as little puppies.
Loved getting their pics taken.
They weren't quite as cheerful when I refused to pay them 150 Dh ($18) each.
They grabbed my arm to try to get it.
I settled on 20 Dh ($2.40) total when I pulled my arm away
and moved on despite their unhappiness

CLICK HERE

for all (7) of today's pics

Life is sweet,
Clarke

On the Train to Marrakech

2011-10-24T16:15:00.003-05:00

Who was it that had that song so many years ago ..... The Marrakech Express? Was it Crosby. Stills, Nash and Young?

It's odd. When we were in southern Spain, it hadn't rained in over 120 days. Here in North Africa, it has rained .... hard rain, the last 3 nights. Not what I expected. Also cooler and more humid. It is the later part of October. Maybe that has something to do with it. Then again, what you expect is often not what you get.

I bought a rubber watch from a street vendor in Madrid. $6. Chuck keeps eyeballing it. He won't admit it, but he covets it. It is like one of those snap bracelets. But covered with rubber and has a watch. It is pretty bitchin'. The Brennie got one too.

Still on the train .......
I made a lovely new friend on the train today. She got on the train about half way between Fes and Marrakech (in Rabat I think). She had a seat in our compartment ..... reserved seating in 1st class. But, I believe that she was the rudest most aggresive person I have ever met. Truly ugly. Unbelievable. It really pissed me off. So .... I out-ruded her. I out-nasty-attituded her. I out-aggressed her. Kind of surprised myself. I don't know if I am really proud or really ashamed. Apparently not too ashamed as I am blogging about it. Anyway ..... if anyone needs lessons in true rudeness with a sprinkiling of hostility ..... I am your guy.

Made it to Marrakech .........
Got at the riad (old home converted to hotel / guest house) right before dark. Went out to dinner. Will explore tomorrow.

Brennie took this great pic walking away from the train.
I LOVE IT.

Rooftop view after dinner.

The Central square right after we arrived.
From our rooftop.
We have a great location.
Once again, Chuck did good.

Weaving our way through the Medina to our Riad.

CLICK HERE
for pics of today.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

PS: Did I mention that I didn't like that gal on the train today?

Fes - Day 2 and 3

2011-10-23T15:34:00.002-05:00

WOW!

Parts of the Medina (old town) are over 1200 years old. And we have been to those parts. Impossible to describe. 9000+ small streets and allies. Confusing as all get out. Each one is more interesting than the last. Fes is the oldest continually occupied city in ......... was it Morocco, Africa, the world? I don't know. Somewhere.

We hired a guide yesterday as a group. Each couple returned at least a couple times today. Took a taxi tour around the outside of the Medina. We went down strets (that are 1200+ years old. Really mind boggling. What an ancient culture. Ate a lot of authentic food ....... some great and yummy ...... some a little foreign to my palate (sp?) Sat outside in sidewalk cafes drinking really good coffee. Brenda was usually the only woman there except when Nancy was with us. We could stay here a month and not even scratch the surface of the place.

Feeling much more coomfortable today than yesterday. We will see if that comfort will transfer to Marakesh tomorrow.

Look closely.
Can you figure out what kind of meat is sold here?

Ancient water clock.
Worked great until the French destroyed it in the 1950's.

1000 year old cedar door.
We saw a couple of the old doors that were open. They ar about 4" thick.

Metal workers area.

Finished metal work.

Unbelievable carpets for sale.
All hand made and using natural dyes.

There is an old wall surrounding the Medina.
This is one of the gates into it.
The wall is either 45 or 60 kilometers long depending on who you talk to.

Moroccon Wal-Mart

No vehicles in the Medina.
They would never fit.
This is a Medina delivery truck. Saw lots of these little guys.
The other type of deliveryy truck is a hand cart.
There is a free vet hospital for the donkies (mules?) .

Camel meat in some white goop.
Not refrigerated.
I believe the 'goop' is camel lard (from the hump) and olive oil.
We also saw it displayed in other ways that looke like a volcano.

Not sure. But not new construction.

At the ceramics cooperative.

I guess if you have to be imprisoned ....
This is not a bad way to go.
Hi Nancy.

Wster seller?
We had to pay to take his picture.
So maybe he is selling photo ops?

The old and famous leather tanneries and dye works.
All the dyes are natural.
Examples: mint is used for green dye. poppies for red, pomegranate skins for yellow.
'Interesting' smell from this view.
No restaurants (is that spelled right?) nearby.

I passed up the opportunity to eat a camel burger. I hope that I can forgive myself. I have had bufallo and elk burgers. But not here. I have also eaten alligator and I think that I ate snake when I was younger, but doubt that I held it down for long. So that probably doesn't count. I do regret not eating the fried grasshopper in Mexico. And of course ..... cuy in Ecuador. And, oh yeah, I ate at McDonalds in Tangier. They call the McDonalds 'The American Embassy'.

CLICK HERE

for the rest of the Fes pics.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Train to Fez and .......Another City ..... Another Dump

2011-10-21T11:40:00.001-05:00

Train to Fez:
On the train now from Tangier to Fes. Really looking forward to Fes. Just ate some cheese that we bought last night. Gouda with cumin seeds. Beyond words yummy. Will buy more of that if I can ...... every day.

Later but still on the train .... Busted out the peanut butter that I bought last night. Yummy. It's not JIF. But at least it tastes pretty close. So apparently it has at least some of the right stabilizers, additives and preservatives required to make a good peanut butter. Also had a pear/apple thing. Also will pronounce it good.

Not bad.

Interesting ....... ( still on the train ). We have had two men joining us in our compartment. Each one he's claimed to have a seat in the compartment. They stay in the compartment in 'their seat' long enough to hustle us with their services, then find an excuse to leave. We were told this would happen.

Another city ..... Another Dump:
That darn Chuck Watson arranged this horrid place for us to stay here in the Medina (old town) in Fez. I took a short walk in the Medina ....... really easy to get lost. Came home before I could get totally lost. 9000 twisty turny little streets and alleies Mind boggling. Will take a tour tomorrow with someone to hold our hands.

Anyway ..... back to the dump we are in tonight and for the next 2 miserable nights .... that darn Chuck.

See what I mean?
A dump.

Pretty yucky.

Worae yet. Like Casa Ordonez in Cuenca, this is an old (OLD) family home that has been restored .

The Brennie checking out the rooftop view.

CLICK HERE

for other train and dump pics.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Tangier

2011-10-20T17:39:00.000-05:00

NOTE: Re typos and misspellings: I am working on a cheesy old Netbook. The screen is small ..... to small for me to see any typos or misspelled words. It was one of the first to be produced. It is SLOW ..... painfully so. This makes re-enterring the blog editor very tedious. So, for these blogs ....... there is no re-write or editing. It is just too gruesome. The spell checker tags every word as none of them are in Arabic. Okey-dokey. Moving on.......

Tangier Overview:
Tangier is an ancient city. For many years it was an international city ruled by the French, British and Spanish (I think). As a result, once it belonged solely to Morocco, there was some 'attitude' towards it and it was much neglected by Morocco. With the coming of the new king, several years ago, he decided that Morocco needed some long overdue attention. What you see here is a city, trying to recover from long neglect. There is much new building ..... but not too much completed. In many ways, large parts of it are a construction zone.

Overview Part 2:
Tangier is a border town with lots of tourism and single day tourinsts that come over from Spain on the ferry. As with other tourinsty border towns, it is possible to lose some of the "what you came to see or experience". There is an amazing amount of 'hussle' here. I refer to the meaning of huslte as in getting hustled. Especially if you are an obvious visitor. It can take some of the thrill off if you let it. Example: The ferry we took lands about 20 or 30 miles outside of town. They do provide busses into town. The second you get off the bus, you are surrounded by people 'offering their services'.

Moving on:
We arrived yesteday and after checking into the hotel, the Brennie and I took a walk for about 4 hours. We walked along the beach and into old town ..... the Medina. We made our firwst friend there. A junky named Hassam. He really wanted to be our guide and even after we told him (maybe 20 times) 'NO', he still followed us for blocks. Go into a store .... he is waiting for us. Tell him 'no'. Reverse directions to lose him ...... no such luck. He finally gave up after I ceased to be even remotely polite. It was interesting. Not fun. But, not horrible. Interesting..

Anyway, we cruised the Medina for a while. There are 900+ small streets and alleys and everyine is selling something. For those of you in Cuenca, the closest I can come to describe it is Ferria Libre. But real different.

Brennie and I returned to the Medina today, and the Casbah, and the souks. But we had a hsutler/guide with us. One thing the hustler/guide did was keep the other hustlers away from us. Beside, he was our hustler.

I have really enjoyed this city, but look forward to going to Fes tomorrow. We are taking the train ..... about 4 hours

In the fish market.

O the ferry leaving Spain.

Directions are clearly marked
making it impossible to get lost.

Map of the Medina
is really handy. NOT!

Gate to the Casah.
The Casbah is famous because of one corny line in a bad movie.
But you gotta go there.

Another gate to the Medina.
Looking from the inside to the (duh) outside.

Inside the Casbah.

Community oven in the Medina.
People bring their food in to be cooked.

Quiz #1
What is this?

CLICK HERE

for all the Tangier pics

Life is Sweet,
Clarke

PS: We are having a ball!!! It is great to be traveling with Chuck and Nancy.

Nerja, Larry & Liza, Gibraltar and This Dump of a Hotel

2011-10-18T13:39:00.000-05:00

We left Granada behind yesterday and drove south to the Costa del Sol for our first glimpse of the Mediterranean. I can see now why so many people choose to retire to the Costa del Sol. Really …… I mean REALLY nice. Pretty hard to describe but I will try …….. The sun coast on the Med. How’s that? We stopped at Nerja.

We passed one of the white hill towns on the way to the coast. The white helps keep the houses cool as it reflects the sone. The whitewaah also has something in it to repel bugs.

Nerja: AKA the balcony of Europe. Brenda wants to come back here for a month. I agree. Look it up on the old Internet. You will understand. Again. Lots of retirees. Can’t blame them.

Nerja is called the Balcony of Europe.
It sits on a bluff overlooking the Med.
Fantastic!!

CLICK HERE

For pics of Nerja

The pic of the pebbles is of the beach.

Some is sand,

Some is pebbles of all different sizes.

Very cool.

Larry and Liza: We continued on from Nerja to see Larry and Liza in Coin. We had a lovely evening catching up with them. We were a little tired so tried to tuck in early because this AM we went to Gibraltar.

We enjoyed talking so much the camera rarely got taken out.
Therefore a pretty pic in a grocery store.

Gibraltar: A bit of jolly old England in the shadow of a HUGE rock ….. called amazingly The Rock of Gibraltar. It is pretty hard to describe. It is a massive rock inhabited by ape/monkey things. At the base of the rock is a couple square miles of British territory. From the rock, you can see: the Atlantic Ocean, Mediterranean Sea, Spain, Morocco and that little bit of England. The ‘rock’ has a long and interesting history which I won’t bother you with. Fascinating day.

The rock. (bad pic)

Morocco in the distance.

Brennie showing where swhe wants to be kissed.

The rock is full of caves. Some are natural and we only have two lousy pics of them.
There is also a whole military history of tunneling and cannon placements inside the rock.
I loved it..

My new best friend.

CLICK HERE

For pics of Gibraltar

Hotel Dumpo: We are a few miles outside down coast of Gibraltar tonight in Algeceras. This is our last night in Spain. We head over to Morocco tomorrow on the ferry. Gulp. Unfortunately, we had to stay in this dump.

What a wreck!

CLICK HERE

For pics of This Dump

It has been a very busy 2 days. The Brennie is asleeep. She had a choice .... dinner or sleep. I'll wake her for breakfast.

Life is Sweet,

Clarke

Granada Adventures

2011-10-16T13:50:00.003-05:00

This morning the 4 of us set out to go to some of the miradors (scenic viewpoints) here in Granada. We chose to take the car as scenic viewpoints are usually high up (duh). Map in hand and route pre-planned we hit the road. Within 2 turns, we were in trouble. Route #1 turned to poison due to road construction that detoured is via one way streets into some type of circling narrowing nightmare that not even Escher could come up with. After that narrow escape we headed to backup route #1 (AKA our second choice. AKA failure #2). This wasn’t so bad as the closed off roads (and detours) were wider ….. but, sadly it too was doomed.

Onward to route #3. Backup #2. Failure #3: We stopped, consulted the map and reached a consensus. On paper, it looked good. Hell, we are not stupid. Between the 4 of us we have four master degrees and 2 doctorates. How hard can this be, for god’s sake? Hop on the freeway, detour around town and approach the whole thing from a different direction and away from all the road construction. (It looks like they may be putting in an underground system.)

The joy of route #3:
So we get to the other side of town and are zipping along and everything is (kind of) fine. We have to adjust our plans at about every intersection because many (most) roads are one way. We are making our way uphill to an older part of town. Note: this is a very old town. Most of the roads were made long before cars. They can get twisty and narrow. Sooooooooo …….. do you see it coming? Combine uphill, narrow, twisty, few choices because of one way streets (do not enter signs) and possibly a little disoriented. We are still hopeful, but becoming a little less cocky.

Anyway, at some point all choice was taken away from us. At every intersection of roads randomly designed (did I say designed?) for pedestrians long ago, there is only one way to proceed. Each block gets either narrower, more twisty or steeper. Some times two of the previous and occasionally all three. We are looking for an escape now, but none offers itself. Finally (no sh*t) we have no choice but to go up this one impossibly narrow, steep and twisty street …….. and we come to …….. “no way the car is getting through that.” I get out in front of the car so that we see if it can make it through. The car is about an inch too wide ….. even if we manage it perfectly. The only choice is to back up (actually down) hell road . We finally got it backed out of the narrow twisty road. The locals found it very entertaining and even gave us a round of applause. We only had to drive a couple blocks going the wrong way before we were on our way back to the hotel with our tails between our legs.

It was after we got beyond the arch that the 'real fun' began.

Brennie was going to take some pics of the driving adventure.
That might have seemed cruel.
So I have recreated it .... birds eye view

Adventure #2:
The Brennie and I decide we still want to go to the miradors. On foot sounded pretty good by then. So we hop out of the car once it is basically in downtown. We have ath hand drawn map from a guide book. So, off we go. Within 6 blocks of entering old steep twisty town, it is obvious that the hand drawn map was out of scale, missing streets, and leaving lots to the imagination. Anyway, we figure ……… “mirador”, gotta be high up. So every time we have a choice we go for the steeper road. These were all walking ‘roads’. A car could never even hope to get through.

We did ask directions a couple times and were just told to walk uphill. We finally made it to Mirador San Nicalos. Which amazingly, is where we were trying to go. Even got a picture to prove it.

We heard there ws a lot of good food in the old section of town we were in (Muslim and Gypsy). Smelled like Marijuana is used in a lot of the old family recipes.

Proof the the Brennie and I made it to the mirador.

Christopher Columbus and Queen Isabella.
Love the background.

Brennie is scared.

STRAIGHT street.

CLICK HERE

to see other Granada pics
Life is Sweet,
Clarke

The Alhambra

2011-10-15T13:18:00.001-05:00

One of the reasons that I was so excited to come to southern Spain (Andalucia) was that, I really wanted to see the Alhambra. Tickets are difficult to get, So Chuck dropped me off at 6:45 (AM!) to stand in line to get us tickets. They are hard to get unless you get them in advance. We would have done that but our plans are fairly flexible (loosie – goosie).

Just a little info on the Alhambra. It was the final Moorish stronghold to fall in the reconquista. 1492. There is too much to tell, so I won’t even bother to try. I will just caption a few pics and put the others up to view via a link.

The 'W' with the bump on the left is the word Allah.

This phrase is soomething lke 'Allah is all powerful" or 'Allah is always victorious.' It appears 9000 times in the decorative walls of the Sultan's palace. 9000! It is in this pic either partially or completely 7 times. Look closely.

This is the room where Isabelle and Ferdinand gave Columbus permission ot sail west to find a route to the far east. As we all know ...... he failed.

The latice work is so that the women could remain hidden.

My honey is singing.

I usually try to hold in my stomach if my pic is being taken.
End of the day.
Too tired for heavy lifting.

CLICK HERE

For our fuzzy out-of-focus pics

For better pics .... see Chuck and Nancy's blog or look on the Internet

Life is Sweet,
Clarke

PS: There is also an Alhambra, California. Not really the same.

Reflections on Sevilla

2011-10-14T15:06:00.001-05:00

Sevilla was at one time the largest Spanish city and the center of commerce and government. At one time or other, most of the cities we have gone to can make the same claim. Sevilla’s heyday (sp?) was for about the 100 years following the discovery of The New World until the harbor silted up about 100 years later. (This is according to Chuck. And I suspect he is right.) It is inland quite a ways up the Guala-dinkus (or something) river. Like Portland, Oregon ….. an inland seaport up a river. But, no longer a seaport due to the aforementioned silting. Chuck also says that Sevilla, had an exclusive rights ….. in that all commerce headed to or from the New World had to come through here ….. taxes(?). Chuck ….. did I get most of that correct?

Anyway …….. it is certainly worth visiting, but has not been my favorite city. Brennie read that it is the hottest city in Europe. This is easy to believe. It has two main sights worth seeing. The Alcazar and the Cathedral.

The Alcazar (palace or fortress) was actually built by and for the Christian kings using much labor from the Moors. It has 3 wings ….. the Admirals wing , the gothic wing and (for me the best) the Moorish style wing. Most of the pics we took were from the Moorish style. I think it was built by Pedro the Cruel (or Pedro the Wise ….. depending on your point of view). Was it Pedro?

The Cathedral is the third largest Cathedral in Europe and the largest Gothic Cathedral. Built in the 15th century after the existing mosque was destroyed. Apparently they said something like “let future generations think we were crazy when we built this.” The cathedral is the main attraction and is NOT to be missed. I missed it. Here is how that happened. The Brennie wasn’t interested but I was. So I left her with an iced coffee in a Wifi hotspot and trotted over to the cathedral. I wasn’t planning on staying long, just kind of a quick run through. Stood in the winding line about 20 minutes, reflecting on the (extreme) differences between the Moorish architecture and Gothic. A couple minutes into the line I am admitting that I certainly prefer the former to the latter. A couple minutes later it is how I really like the Moorish architecture and not so much the Gothic. A few minutes more ….. it is love one and kinda hate the other. Then I am thinking ‘how fast can I make the tour’? Then it is ‘maybe go in and find the exit.’ By now I am just a couple minutes from the ticket window. I flee. Went to look for cigars instead.

So, I have no pics of the cathedral. However, Nancy does!

I just LOVE the Moorish designs. That is why you are seeing so much of it.

Check out the INDIVIDUAL tiles.
It is like that everywhere!

CLICK HERE

To see pics of Sevilla

Between Sevilla and Granada is a town named Loja. Yep, Loja,Spain. We have now been in Loja, Ecuador and Loja, Spain. I have been in Loja California. The pics of Loja include some black iron profiles. The Marx Brothers. They shot the movie “Duck Soup” here. There is a Cuenca Ecuador. We missed it, but Chuck and Nancy say they will see it in March when they return.

CLICK HERE

To see pics of Loja

We arrived in Granada today. Chuck was driving, I was navigating. The GPS is worthless. Apparently the free maps downloaded to it, were overpriced. Not actually L-O-S-T, just a bit of trouble getting to our hotel. Anyway, looks like we are going to the Alhambra tomorrow. This is a HUGE deal! And no it is not gothic.

Life is Sweat (because it is hotter than f*ck –diddle here),

Clarke

Lunches

2011-10-13T12:27:00.000-05:00

They have this thing here called 'tapas'. Tapas is basically a vey cool snacking concept ....... With ef course very cool snacks. They are sold at 'tapas bars'. The assortment of tapas ia huge and they can be really yummy. You can even get non-alcoholic beer. Many places have it on tap.

This entry is not about tapas. It is about Brennie's two most enjoyable lunches here,

She liked the lunch where I dropped a potato chip down my shirt and had trouble getting it out without breaking it. Only to drop another less than a minute later.

She also liked the one where I kept putting salt on my baked potato. I would put some salt on and it wouldn't taste salty. Tried again. Again. And yet again. By this time the potato tasted just weird ...... But not salty. FYI .....sugar does not improve a baked potato.

Bonus:
Cash machines are everywhere. This is nice because nothing is very cheap. Every time you turn around there is a cash machine. Except of course, when you are look looking for one. I walked for blocks today looking for one. Finally saw one and scampered over to it. Condom machine.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Drive from Cordoba to Sevilla

2011-10-12T16:28:00.002-05:00

Some road time, but a couple interesting unplanned side trips.

Side trip 1: Olive trees.
I mentioned before the endless olive trees. Well today we took a side trip into one of the …… are they called groves? Actually Chuck lost control of the car and it safely came to stop in an olive grove. (That is a complete fabrication ….. simply amusing myself there.) Anyway, the girlies took some pics of the olive trees. Cool. They also ate an olive or two off the trees, spit them out and pronounced them as vile. Clearly some type of processing is done between the tree and the table.

Olives. (Duh.)

Side trip 2: Carmona
Inhabited for a long long time. Ruins from about 900 BC are found under the fortifications that were later take over by others and rebuilt and rebuilt and rebuilt. Carmona has a long history which has seen the passage of the widest variety of cultures. Thus, it was first of all inhabited by Tartessans, and later became a Phoenician colony. Later came the Carthaginians. Then taken from the Carthaginians by the Romans. Romans would be followed by Visigoths, Moors and re-conquered again by the Christian Spaniards in the reconquista. I guess that you could even throw in Franco in the Spanish Civil War (1930’s) if you like. Pretty amazing for a US citizen that remembers the 200 anniversary of the US in 1976.

Gate at Carmona.

Other point of interest on the road:I don’t know what it is. The light reflecting off it is real and not an optical illusion or trick photography. I guess we could have looked closer and figured it out, but we were afraid of being beamed up somewhere. Chuck got really scared and started crying. (Yeah, another terrible lie. I can’t stop.)

What is this?

For a complete set of pics

CLICK HERE

I think that the Brennie is getting pretty good with the old camera.

Life is Sweet,
Clarke

CORDOBA (yeah, that's in Spain)

2011-10-11T17:14:00.000-05:00

The drive to Cordoba was kind of long and not real eventful. One observation …… OLIVE TREES. Millions and millions of them. Literally. I am not sure exactly when we started passing through them, because I didn’t ‘clock’ it. But once I realized that there were STILL olive trees as far as I could see in any direction (rolling hills), I became more aware of them. I would guess that we drove better than 100 km (60 miles) with a solid landscape of olive trees. Pretty cool. PS it is very dry here

A lesson in humility. In Cordoba I am looking at a Roman ruin that is just shy of being 2000 years old. It is very humbling. I will be nice and not elaborate on that.

Will finish this tomorrow.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Why I really wanted to focus on the south of Spain: The Moors. Pure and simple, I wanted to see the Moorish influence of Spain. It took the Christians about 700 years to drive the Moors out after the Moors conquered Spain (in about 700 AD). The Moors were here keeping knowledge, science, art, medicine ‘alive’ while the rest of Europe wallowed in the dark ages. So, I wanted to see southern Spain where the Moors were for the longest period. By the way, the Moors were finally driven out of their last strongholds in southern Spain in 1492. I think that most of my little history lesson above is correct. If not, I suspect there will be some comments setting me straight. So anyway, the Moors were here in the south the longest ….. so I am expecting to see more Moorish influence here. Plus, the Romans were here 2000 years ago. And they left their mark. For instance, the temple ruins and the Roman bridge still in use (foot traffic).

Roman bridge.

Anyway…….. how cool it is!

Islamic Cordoba (756-1236): Medieval Europe’s Cultural Capital
So much here to love. I will give only one example. The Mezquita.

Original building here – a Visigoth Catholic Church built in the 6th century (500’s). The Visigoths took over after the Roman Empire fell.

The Catholic church was torn down by the Moors (when they conquered here). They built a huge mosque on the site (over the years). This mosque, The Mezquita, is fabulous. It has 850 columns in it. The columns (Many, most, all? I don’t know.) were recycled from Roman ruins and conquered Visigoth churches. The mosque would hold between 15,000 and 20,000 worshipers on prayer rugs (depending on which guide you read).

Finally, after the reconquista (re-conquering of Spain by the Catholics) the Catholics come in to re-use the mosque. They don’t pull it down. Instead, right in the middle of it, they build a cathedral. I like it better than the cathedral in Toledo (not as gaudy), plus it is in the really beautiful mosque.

Part of the mosque.

Mosque

Mosque again.

Cathedral in the middle of the mosque.

Cathedral.

Cathedral dome over mosque arches!

So ……… whoever was ruling at the time, built their own house of worship on top of or in the middle of the former power’s place of worship. Sometimes even using the same columns and stones. Proves yet again to me that religion is politics. (Don’t get me started on this. Um …… really. Don’t get me started.)

Anyway, that is what I like about Cordoba.

For all the Cordoba pics

CLICK HERE

Notice how the Moors destroyed the faces from the Visigoth stones. That is because the Muslims don't believe in using images ...... depictions of people. Note that Muslim decorations are geometric designs.

I don't have the slightest idea.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Links to the pics should work now.

2011-10-09T16:15:00.000-05:00

Sorry about that. They always worked when I checked them. Apparently they did not work for others.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

El Rastro

2011-10-09T06:56:00.001-05:00

El Rastro:

“Europe’s biggest flea market is a field day for shoppers, people-watchers and pickpockets.” Sundays, 9:00 AM until …….. not my problem.

OK, I am a guy. I hate (H-A-T-E) shopping. I mean really, really hate it. Beyond words hating.

Brenda is a woman …….. she’s all woman. She loves shopping (sport, hobby, avocation, whatever). She tells me that Cuenca shopping sucks. She is loving all the stores here as much as I hate them.

Today is Sunday and we set the alarm to go to El Rastro. (Repeat: On vacation. Set alarm. Shopping?) It was like a really bad acid trip. God knows how many square blocks it covers. We never did see the end of it in any direction we went. It was horrible.

I did feel sorry for the Brennie though. She burned out in under three hours. I didn’t think that was possible. Must send her to a doctor. Poor old thing just doesn’t have the stamina she used to. I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.

Another thing: Europes largest flea market. No street food? Really? That’s nuts. If there was a food place at least every block, it wouldn’t have been such agony. I didn’t see any food. Had to pick up some churros on the way back.

Confession: I bought 3 pairs of POS socks for 1 Euro. About a buck fifty (for all 3). The Brennie bought nothing. Poor thing.

CLICK HERE

for pics of El Rastro

and more Madrid pics.

Life is Sweet,
Clarke

Toledo (not Ohio)

2011-10-08T15:44:00.000-05:00

Off to Toledo on the high speed train. The whole 'high speed' thing was rendered mute when it turned out the train we wanted was full and we had to wait an additional hour. But we wanted to do the high speed so we sat on a granite bench and killed time and butts. - - - - - - - - -

Later. Back on the train from Toledo. Mixed reviews.

Bitchin' city. History culture and architecture are a mix of Christian and Moorish .... with Jewish influences. (Obviously before that whole lovely Spanish Inquisition thing). Very cool and really loved it. Except for ...... it kind of felt like a 'disneyland' thing. Almost everyone on the streets were tourists. Droves of tourists. Big groups and small. Some groupsspoke English, some French. Some Japanese, Indian, etc. SO MANY TOURISTS. Couples and families. It seemed to me that every business in town (old historical part) catered to the tourists. So many trinkets and so much junk for sale. Plus a little too clean .... like Disneyland. Does that make sense?

But wow! The cathedral. Holy mother of god! Unbelievable and indescribable!. Look it up on the Internet because I can't describe it. One of the 'things' used for ceremonies had a core of solid gold .... 35 pounds of it. That is in addition to 400 pounds of gold plated silver. We did take a couple pictures of it. It is the ten foot tall gold thing. The pics aren't so great. Our fault.

Below is a crummy pic of it. Maybe my cheesy cmaera couldn't handle the glare from the gold.

The GOLD thing!

CLICK HERE

to see more pics of Toledao

One reason we are doing only the south of Spain is that we want to see the Moorish influence. A lot of that in Toledo ...... Even in the Sinagoga . That is the Jewish Synagog (spelling?) that was built by Moorish craftsman.

I think I can go a lifetime without seeing another Goya or El Greco.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Last Couple of Days (Madrid)

2011-10-07T16:14:00.006-05:00

1. Chuck and Nancy arrived today afrter their unexpected detour through Seattle. It is good to see them. They spent some of the day resting. So we.........

2. Went to the Reine Sophia Museum (of modern art). It is really famous, etc. But, what I found the most interesting was............'bombproof bathrooms'? I mean seriously, the bathrooms had HEAVY doors plated on both sides with heavy gauge steel. Nothing sissy about the handles and locks either. The doors to the stalls were the same. Each stall was like those 'safe rooms' that the rich build into their McMansions.

WENT TO SEGOVIA YESTERDAY.
VERY COOL.
Day trip.
Went with Mike and Cheri.

Having a little trouble with this little NetBook computer.

To see more pics of Segovia.

CLICK HERE

To see more pics of Madrid

CLICK HERE.

They have non-alcoholic beer here!!!!

Off to Toledo tomorrow for another day trip.

Life is Sweet,

Clarke

Good News From Madrid

2011-10-05T10:23:00.001-05:00

Having a ball doing lots of stuff.

Planning (actually a 'lack of planning') for a day trip to Segovia tomorrow.

'Plans' go something like this:
- Find metro station
- Determine which train station we need to get to
- Get to correct train station by taking correct metro
- Find and board correct train.
- Arrive in Segovia
- Enjoy Segovia
- Repeat steps 1 - 4 in reverse order.

Re pictures:
Have taken way too many. Will try to post some more soon.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Bad NewsFrom Madrid

2011-10-05T02:18:00.000-05:00

So far I have only found the worlds worst cigars. Must be something i don't understand. Gee, you think?

Arrived in Madrid

2011-10-03T16:56:00.003-05:00

WARNING:
I brought an old NetBook on this little trip because I can upload pics with it (I can't with my Ipad. However, I hate this d*mn thing for way too many reasons. So the posts may be a little rough (not edited).

MOVING ON:
Arrived Madrid today. LOVE it.

Spent entire day (after arrival) on foot.

Did not enjoy the flight a whole bunch. Sitting for 11 hours getsreally old really fast. The little girl behind me clearly enjoyed it.She got a lot of exercise kicking the back of my seat.
We took the metro (subway) from the airport to the hotel. Pretty easy.
Love the location of the hotel .... A bit of a bohemian neighborhood in the old part of town. They must have a magical camera that they use to take pics of the room. I wish that I had a camera like it.

However ..... Totally satisfied.

A few random pics:

My queen.

Randy ..... It's a Vespa.

They have non-alcoholic beer!!!!!!

Gotta be a million scooters in this town!

Rabbit (conejo). Better than cuy.

Life is swwet (though this computer AND Internet connection ...... NOT so sweet)
Clarke

On your mark, Get Set ....... AND GO

2011-10-02T07:50:00.000-05:00

Heading to the airport as soon we eat breakfast, etc.

6 weeks in Spain, Morocco and a cruise.

I'm skeert. I hope no one is mean to us.

We will meet up with Chuck and Nancy later this week in Madrid.

Next post form Madrid.

We have a house-sitter living here while we are gone. Take care of the house and Bugger and Wanker.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

MAKING (more) FRIENDS AT TVCABLE

2011-09-28T13:56:00.001-05:00

I made a bunch friends at TVCable a couple months ago when their installation guys failed to show up or call 3 days running. I was really happy after staying at home 3 days waiting for techs that were always promised in ’20 minutes’. So I paid a couple calls to their office and shared my joy ....... because I am a generous guy. Made friends on those visits. Made more friends when, the Internet service was not what I was paying for. (The TV has always been ok.) Made friends yet again when I had to explain that the Internet techs they sent out were ‘no mucho intelligente’ and I would really like to have a quality tech come out. Amazingly, I made all those friends using my limited Spanish.

Anyway, I went in today to cancel the Internet service. I am a picky *ssh*l* and narrow-minded. I get annoyed when I don’t receive the services I pay for after giving them 3 chances to get it right..

You take a number when you go in. I was #75. They were on #55. It didn’t take a genius to tell that there were only 3 customer reps there. For the first half hour, one was doing data entry, another was flirting with a co-worker or otherwise not helping customers. The third was handling 1 person about every 12 minutes. After a half hour they were at #58. So, I strolled back into the offices to make some more friends. Found a boss. New friend. But not a good friend.

Found a boss in a bigger office. The secretary wasn’t in so I just went in and got friendly. We will call her ‘big boss’. Anyway, big boss picked up the intercom and by the time I got back to the bullpen, data entry and flirt were actually helping customers. Plus there was a fourth person. All friends of mine now. Remember ‘big boss’ for later.

Anyway, finally it was my turn (data entry gal). She explained that I could not cancel the Internet until I paid for 6 months. Or I could pay $110 to cancel. I told her that I wasn’t going to pay anything. The service was bad. I didn’t want it and I wasn’t paying them. She insisted. We had a friendly chat for a while. So I finally said ‘Fine, let’s cancel the TV too. But I am still not paying.” She sent me to big boss.

Back with big boss. Got the same party line with big boss. Big boss and I had a long friendly chat. (FYI ‘lo peor’ means ‘worst’.) Finally big boss and I agreed that I could cancel the Internet (no fee involved) and she would refund for the 2 months that I had their lovely Internet service.

There were a couple more steps involved, but only with old friends at TVCable. They were thrilled to see me again.

Hey, if your service is sh*tty ........... you gotta expect encounters with the customers. Right?

Truly ........ I do my best to be easy to get along with and I try to avoid conflict. Unfortunately, sometimes ............

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It is nice to put pics on blogs.

So here is a pic of the Brennie recharging her batteries.

She may be planning the trip that starts this weekend.

Notice how Bugger and Wanker are assisting.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

BACKGROUND ON ‘MAKING A NEW FRIEND’

(Read this only if you are bored and have nothing else to do ....... oopsie, I guess that could apply above too.)

A little background on ‘making a new friend’. I was a public school teacher for 25 years. The last 16 were at a high school. It was a suburban high school. About 85% of our kids were fine. Any guesses on the other 15%. Did you guess, princesses, thugs and jackasses? At any rate the P, T & J’s believed they were (and indeed often were) immune from the rules and constraints that only applied to the 85%.

Anyway, all teachers were required to do hallway duty between classes. Most of us hated it (myself being one of those) and in reality only a % of us did it (include me again). I had this strange notion that it was only fair to the 85% if the 15% also were held to the same behaviors. I don’t blame many of my colleagues for turning a blind eye to the P, T & J’s. As often as not it was a real headache. Did I have a lot of interaction with the 15%? Enough. Sometimes it did not go well. The royal family of the princesses often had direct lines to people that could say to me ........ “come in and close the door”. The thugs liked to escalate any request into something more serious or often enough even MORE serious. At the very least, this created additional paperwork. The jackasses ...... well you never knew.

Anyway, I always called it ‘making a new friend’. Sometimes it made me late to class. I would tell my students that I had been making a new friend. My students thought it was funny. I guess it was.

Silver lining? Yes. The P, T & J’s never signed up for any of my classes.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

On Your Mark, Get Set .......

2011-09-25T12:28:00.008-05:00

Okey Dokey,

Well, women are just different than men. I am a guy. The Brennie is all woman. For us it just works out better that way. But let's face it ........ There are many differences beyond anatomy. Some are a little confusing.

We are getting ready to set out for Morocco, Spain and a cruise. Total time gone ..... 6 weeks. 4 weeks in Spain and Morocco followed by a two week cruise from Spain to Panama. We leave a week from today. We have done too little travel in the past and have always packed to heavy.

So this time, we are pretty much going with carry-on luggage only. It is a relief for one of us. We did a practice packing this AM using suggested packing guidelines from Rick Steves' website. The links to the guidleines can be found here.

So back to gender differences. So I am looking at the list:
- it says 5 shirts. I assume that I will wear one so off I go to the closet, grab 4 and stuff them in my bag.
- 5 underwears and socks. Subtract, grab and stuff.
- two pairs of pants and one shorts. Subtract. Grab. Stuff.
- etc
You see the pattern here. Pretty straight forward. Just follow directions.

However the 'other one' ........... holy mother of god! Do I need to draw a picture here? There seems to be some type of complicated estrogen driven selection process. The closets are close to empty, things are laying out and arranged by ...... arranged by ......... color? Wrinkle resistance? She explained it to me. It made me dizzy.

Whatever it is, it is pretty sophisticated and totally beyond me. I did catch her eyeing my bag a couple times. This should be interesting.

It looks like we are also taking a checked bag which will NOT be dragged around for a month in Spain and Morocco. Apparently, the female clothing requirements for 2 weeks on the cruise are ....... not sure how to end this sentence.

This is a picture of one of the staging areas. There is another staging area in the guest room. I have already returned my stuff to my closet floor, made and eaten breakfast and written this little lovely. I suspect she has just begun.

Life is sweet ,
Clarke

PS: I just walked back into staging area #1. Even more things are coming out of her closet (her #2 closet). Gawd, I love her. I hope she loves me after reading this. Actually, this is nothing. one of the gals I play bridge with has 2 closets just for shoes. Remember Imelda Marcos?

PPS: I don't pray too much. But I pray that I never understand this.

House Pics

2011-09-20T10:17:00.003-05:00

We have wanted to put up some pics of the house. The delay is that we have been waiting to take pics for two circumstances to converge .......... clean house and sunny day. There has been more of the former and fewer of the latter.

Got tired of waiting, so took some pics this AM. Not actually sunny, but not raining either.

Also, my sissy has been asking to see pics. I told her that if she wanted to see our place, she would have to visit. Maybe now that she sees that we don't live in a cave............

So here are some pics. I haven't bothered to caption them as they are not all that obscure. I figure it is not too hard to distinguish between the living room, stairs, kitchen, etc.

For the complete set of pics .......

.....CLICK HERE.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

PS: We have another little secret. Nancy Watson will probably blog about it before we do. But here is a PARTIAL HINT.

Remember.
This is a partial hint.

It's ..........

2011-09-12T18:00:00.003-05:00

........... SURGERY TIME! Yippee!

According to Wikipedia:
Umbilical Hernia ...... "Congenital umbilical hernia is a congenital malformation, common in infants of African descent. Among adults, it is three times more common in women than in men; among children, the ratio is roughly equal. An acquired umbilical hernia directly results from increased intra-abdominal pressure caused by obesity, heavy lifting, a long history of coughing, or multiple pregnancies." Who says there is no useful info on this blog?

I am voting fot the heavy lifting. (You know ...... carrying the weight of the world.) However, this is my second hernia operation. I had one when I was 2 weeks old. So maybe the 'African descent' thing comes into play too.

I've had this darn thing for 3 or 4 years, but it is getting worse. So I went to see the surgeon today. Surgery is tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. Took about 10 minutes to set it up. Really simple.

I asked what it would cost:
$900 if I want the general anesthetic.
$400 - $500 if I choose to go with only a local anesthetic.
I chose the local. I am not cheap, but why piss away the extra bucks?

I almost asked if there was a third choice, but if there is, I don't want it.

I come home the same day ..... maybe by the time anyone reads this. Then I spend a few days recouping at home.

The Brennie will be my nurse and make sure I don't bleed all over her favorite furniture.

Anyone have a 'naughty nurse' outfit we can borrow?

Life is sweet,
Clarke

Blog Readership

2011-09-02T04:58:00.001-05:00

Some times (actually more than just some times), I am amazed at the number of times this blog is read. I have even commented on it to the Brennie. It usually goes something like this ....."Who do you think is reading this dumb *ass blog?" Her response is generally something like ........ "I need some money. Is there any in the drawer?" or "Did you wash the dishes like I told you to?"

Anyway, I had my answer just the other day. Obviously not from my wife.

Here is how it went........
I was standing in a long line at the restroom at a national park in Ontario, Canada. There is this one guy in line that is hard not to notice. A nice looking young fellow of about 25. He has had a recent injury resulting in the partial loss of one hand and multiple lacerations on the other two. He still has bandages on his hands, etc. (Yeah, no typo there ...... Ontario, Canada, partial loss of one hand and bad cuts on the other two.) The line is taking a while and being a congenial fellow, I strike up a conversation. We introduce ourselves and shake hands. The whole handshake part was a little awkward. I chose to shake the hand with the least bandages. It probably would have been a little odd, even without the recent injuries.

Anyway, I tell him my name is Clarke. He takes a short pause, gets a thoughtful look on his face, grins, and says ....... "and Brenda, Next Stage." I am dumbfounded. This is getting a little strange. Anyway he smiles and tells me that he reads the blog. Wow!

I know this sounds a little bit out there. But I swear it's true. I had this dream the other night where I was standing in a long line at the restroom at a national park ........

I would tell you the rest of the story, but it just got bizarre after that. I finally woke up, had a JIF snack and went back to bed.

Anyway, now I know who reads the blog. Kind of.

Life is Sweet,
Clarke

I Am Now Guilty of ......

2011-08-13T11:41:00.003-05:00

....... USING THIS BLOG FOR BLATANT CRASS COMMERCIALISM.

Promoting my own self-interest.

Here is a copy of the text I sent out to Gringo Tree a few minutes ago.

"Downtown El Centro Penthouse for rent. Building built in 1970. Unique downtown apartment with 45‘ balcony on top (6th floor). Wonderful view. 1600 sq ft, 2 large bedrooms, 2 bath. Elevator. Half way between Parque Calderon and Tomebamba River. One bathroom is newly remodeled. The kitchen and other bathroom are NOT attractive, but completely functional. New paint and refinished hardwood floors. Covered laundry area on roof has separate water heater and hook ups for washer and dryer. Furnishings include: stove, refrigerator, microwave, cookware, dishes, dining room table and chairs, couch and easy chair, bedding, towels, area rugs and custom window treatments. Queen size bed available if needed. Rent for either $600 or $700 a month. $700 rent includes monthly condo fee, Internet, satellite TV, LCD TV and DVD player, $600 includes only condo fee. Renter must furnish own router. Minimum 6 month lease. $500 security deposit required. No pets. Smoking on balcony only. In the middle of El Centro on Luis Cordero at Honorato Vasquez. Call Clarke at 080307654 or email clarke.w.green@gmail.com"

Here is a link to some pics of the apartment.

CLICK HERE.

Not all the 'fine furnishings' are included.

These pics were just really handy.

I will return to my normal dumb-*ss postings with the next post.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

PS: I guess we've decided what to do with the apartment.

Secret Revealed

2011-08-09T19:59:00.000-05:00

Re those pics of the 'little secret' post of a few days ago:

Those pics were a few months old.

These pics are from a couple weeks ago.

CLICK HERE.

We moved in 6 days ago.

The dogs have a little yard .....

they are little dogs.

Brennie is happy.

Life is good.

Kind of wondering what to do with the apartment we own in Old Town.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Observations: Traffic Control

2011-08-06T10:15:00.001-05:00

All Right Now ........

Like most people here, we walk a lot. It is one of the benefits of the climate, layout of the city ,,,,everything. It is one of the healthy aspects of living here. I have already blogged about the dangers of crossing the streets on foot while relying on the little green walk signals ....... that is simply for the naive and suicidal. I have already covered this in other entries as have other gringos. Old news. Nothing new here. I have covered the busses in blogs (as have others). Nothing new here either. Cabs? Very cool for $1.50 - $2.50. Nothing new here either.

HOWEVER. In addition to walking, busses and cabs, I also:

- ride a bicycle.

- ride a motorcycle.

- drive a car.

Not a whole lot of us gringos do (all 3 of) these. So maybe there is something new here.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

POINTS OF INTEREST FOR 2 AND 4 WHEELED GRINGOS:

Numero uno: The intersection of Ave Galapagos and Remegio Tamariz. Only one stop sign here (approaching from the south). Those approaching from the north or east do not have stop signs or traffic control of any type. Interesting? Certainly. Dangerous? Maybe it is just my gringo perspective, but it seems dangerous to me. The only safe place seems to be the guy stopped at the stop sign (that’s where I want to be). All other traffic seems to be living on the edge. The guy at the stop sign also has a ring side seat if interested in blood sport. Could probably set up bleachers here and sell tickets. Maybe even better than the Mike Tyson / Evander Holyfield Fight. You know, the one where Tyson ate a little bit of Holyfield’s ear.

Numero dos: Ave 10 de Augusto and Death Row (or something). This one is cool. Last few times I was there, the lights were stuck on both red and green. What I mean here is that both the red and green were on simultaneously. Usually, if the lights are goofed up, you expect to be looking at EITHER the red OR the green ....... but BOTH? Burning steadily. Is it just me? Or is that confusing and possibly dangerous. You sure as h*ll don’t want to stop, as you would probably get rear ended. Maybe another place to sell tickets?

Numero tres: All the traffic lights along Ave 12 de Abril. But first, you gotta understand the nature of South American drivers. It is hard to explain in less than a full blown essay. But sometimes it is mind boggling to see what stunts are pulled simply to gain an advantage of one car length. Now imagine a major road with all the traffic lights out. A couple days ago none of the lights at all were working. I was in the car. I am so proud of myself. I gave no quarter. I was the most aggressive rig on the road. I plowed through all the intersections regardless of the needs or safety of others. I was an animal. I didn’t even bother honking the horn ........ I kind of figured that would be taken as a sign of weakness.

Numero quatro:

Any and all on-ramps to the Auto Pista (sp?). There are stop signs at the end of all the on-ramps. Right where you merge with the traffic. Nobody stops at these. Nobody. Even my driving instructor told me to run these. Anyone stopping here is guaranteed to be rear ended.

- - - - - - - - -

ANOTHER (necessary) ADJUSTMENT TO DRIVING HERE:

Any time you leave town to go somewhere, you must drive through the mountains. No exception. That is because Cuenca is in a valley at 8000+ feet surrounded by mountains. All of the roads out of here are mostly 2 lanes and winding. So that means ...... lots of passing and lots of curves. Our car has a strong V6. Most cars here are 4-bangers. So I do a lot of passing. Remember the part about lots of curves? I think that the Brennie appreciates it that I scream for her when doing the blind curve / passing thing. Anyway, it amuses me to scream.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

We Have a Little Secret

2011-08-02T00:13:00.000-05:00

CLICK HERE FOR A HINT.

Thinking "Earthquake" aren't you?

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Good News and Bad News

2011-07-28T21:49:00.007-05:00

I have always liked to play "Good News, Bad News".

I know it's kinda childish. But still .....

So, you wanna play "Good News, Bad News"?

OK. Whadaya want first? Good or Bad?

'Good' you say? Fine.

THE GOOD NEWS:
We got a Garmin GPS. Roads here are not real well marked so we thought it would help when leaving town. (That's not the good news.)

Maps for those things are kinda spendy. So a friend took us to a place where we could get them installed for a fraction of the price (15%). This friend is a lawyer, so I am sure that everything was legit. You know, no pirated stuff. Yeah, bullshit. (That's nice, and all ...but it is not the actuall good news in this game of GN, BN.)

So this Garmin has a feature called "Points of Interest." Points of Interest' has categories like fuel , transit, food, shopping, lodging, banks/ATM's, hospitals, entertai........ HOLD ON! Go back! "Food?" Really? Bitchin'. So back to the 'Food' category in POI Food has different categories, too. One of which is fast food.

So, finally the good news. My handy dandy Garmin will give turn by turn directions. It will speak to me. It will guide me (by voice) through every turn I need to get to the closest McDonalds 121 kilometers from here. And also the next 8 closest, which is a max of 132 kilometers. It will take me right through the Caja mountains up to the drive through window. Is that bitchin' or what?

AND NOW FOR THE BAD NEWS:
My handy dandy Garmin will give turn by turn directions. It will speak to me. It will guide me (by voice) through every turn I need to get to the closest McDonalds 121 kilometers from here. And also the next 8 closest, which is a max of 132 kilometers. It will take me right through the Caja mountains and up to the drive through window. Is that wretched or what.

I am a terrible photographer. And some how the auto focus gets confused by the backlit touch screen. So maybe you might have trouble reading the text. But here you go.

Super Size Mine!

If there is a motel next door.........

.......... what an interesting way to spend a weekend!

Life is sweet,
Clarke

You Gotta Love It ......

2011-07-22T09:03:00.000-05:00

OK now ........

So yesterday, I am dong some errands by bicycle. I have always loved scooting around on 2 wheels. When I was a young(er) man, I did lots of cycling ...... pedal type, not motor type. By lots, I mean coast to coast type long distance as well as daily life. In fact, when the Brennie and I met, she didn't even know I had a car until after we had known each other for over a year.

Anyway .........

So I am scooting around town on my velociped (bicycle), and on the way home I get to grind up this couple block long hill that goes from New Town to El Centro. Those that live here will know the street. It goes from Ave Loja /Tres de Noviembre up to Calle Larga. It is kind of steep, so I am pedaling and breathing hard. The road is usually crowded and traffic is slow. Seeing as how I am pedaling, I get to weave through the traffic and play leap frog with the vehicles.

There are always busses on that little stretch of incline. AND, most of the busses spew nasty diesel exhaust. So, it is not a real healthy couple blocks. You know, hard breathing plus toxic exhaust.

So, one of the vehicles I am playing leap frog with is this nasty toxic bus. It has a sign painted on the back .......... which of course is filthy dirty from the lovely diesel fumes. So, one of the times the bus spews by me, I read the sign on the back. The sign proudly proclaimes, in Spanish........ "Cuenca, A City Free of Cigarette Smoke."

I then noticed that this little brag was also painted on the side of the bus. Much easier to read there.

Like I said, you gotta love it.

Life is sweet,
Clarke

"Precious Things ......

2011-07-15T07:57:00.002-05:00

..... Come in Small Packages."

I must have heard that saying 500 times from my mother. No exaggeration. Mom claimed to be 4' 11 3/4". So, she had a vested interest in the whole precious / small concept. Personally, I think that she probably stood closer to 4' 10", but I never had the stones to express that. She was a tough gal ........ all 4' 7" inches of her.

Back to the precious / small concept .... BANANAS AND CARROTS!

They CARROTS here are THICK stubby little things. But they are great! For my money, they are much better than the typical carrot found in the US. To me they are sweeter and more moist. I love 'em.

There are many types of BANANAS here. I can't even pretend to speak intelligently about all the different varieties. Some are just for cooking (frying?) .......... must be an acquired taste. My favorite bananas are called 'ORITOS'. They are short little fellars with no edges running down the outside. They are great. They are much sweeter and the meat is firmer than what one is used to in the states. They are fabulous. They are even good without peanut butter on them. Yeah, that good!

I don't really need to label this pic, do I?

OTHER YUMMIES:

Avocados (aquacate) - you get about 3 -5 for $1 (depending on size). At first, I ate about one a day. Some days, I forget. I am down to 3 or 4 a week now. There are so many ways to eat these treasures. Correction: one 'eats' them with their mouth. I guess it would be correct to say there are so many ways to 'serve' or 'prepare' them'
Maracuya - aka passion fruit. Love the juice from those babies. There is a place around the corner that I get liters of homemade maracuya yogurt. FYI, the yogurt is the liquid drinking type. Love it. You can also get maracuya ice cream at many of the 1000 ice cream places in town. I like to put maracuya ice cream and chocolate in the same bowl ...... about half and half.
Ceviche - holy mother of god!
and other stuff too numerous to mention.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Whales and Such

2011-07-09T11:30:00.006-05:00

Oh my oh my ........

Been so busy ....... accomplishing so little.

In the end of May (Predictions and Dire Warnings), I shared a concern that this whole contentment / early retirement was simply some type of delusional side trip through mental illness ....... that maybe I truly hated this new life and was was too confused to realize it. Therefore we took a trip to Vilcabamba to try to re-connect with reality. Sadly the re-connection did not work ...... still found ourselves with nothing to complain about. So, in desperation we were planning a trip to the coast to try to re-establish our bearings. Try to re-establish some tenuous connection with reality.

So, we went to the coast for 5 days recently while our daughter Caitie was visiting. Fired up the old go-fast (car), plugged in the GPS and headed out.

Sadly, our little trip to Puerto Lopez, did not do the trick. We had the misfortune of staying at this wreck of a place ....... http://www.hosteriamandala.info/. We spent days walking on the beach, eating fresh sea food, whale (and porpoise) watching and taking a boat out to Isla la Plata (aka "The Poor Man's Galapagos). Alas, I am still saddled with this false contentment. And here are some pics to prove it.......

Click here to see more pics.

I am a terrible photographer ........

and am too lazy to edit or select pics ......

so I just dumped them all up there.

But we are not going to give up. Maybe a visit to this dump next time will help us to clear our heads ....... http://www.balsasurfcamp.com/accueil/index.html

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Reality CheckMyth Buster

2011-06-07T11:09:00.003-05:00

IS CUENCA PARADISE?

No, of course not.

Before reading any further, know this:

I absolutely love my life here. I have found in Cuenca (almost) everything that I have ever wanted. For me, it is a dream come true. I have a saying that I use to describe my new life. “It is everything that I ever hoped for, and more than I ever expected”.

WHY I AM WRITING THIS PARTICULAR BLOG ENTRY:

I got an email the other day with a link to a new blog. The sender was anonymous as was the blogger. I believe that the sender and the blogger are one in the same. I don't know if the blog author was a man or woman, so I will just refer to the writer at 'he'.

In the blog he was taking issue with many of the descriptions of Cuenca as found on the various blogs. He believed that they presented an unrealistic picture of life here. In reality, I think that he was on point with much of what he said. However he wrapped his message in a nasty vitriolic rant. It was really quite ugly. Too bad he chose to express himself this way as the truth of SOME of what he said was lost due to his poisonous presentation.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A thing to remember about most of the blogs. Yes they do tend to present a rosy picture. Of course. Most of the people that blog about their life here, blog about what they like. And, there is a lot to like. However, nothing is ever perfect and the frustrations and/or down sides don’t seem to get much mention in the blogs.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We have lived here slightly over a year. A couple years ago, we came down and lived in a rented apartment for 2 months. We thought that 2 months would give us an accurate taste of 'living' rather than vacationing. Well, yes and no.

A 2 week or 2 month visit will not really give an accurate picture. Because visiting IS different than settling in, setting up house and starting a new chapter in your life.

THE FOLLOWING ARE MY OPINIONS AND OBSERVATIONS ONLY.

Cost of living: DO NOT believe everything you read or hear. Yes, many things are much cheaper here. These include most of the day to day living expenses. But there are also some things that are much more expensive. Specifically, quality imported goods are very expensive ........ cars, motorcycles, electronics and appliances. The cost of settling in can be horrendous. Those things you might sell at home at garage sale prices are often the types of things you will have to replace here at very high cost. There are many one-time purchases that can be through the roof. Housing (rentals) are much cheaper than in the US. I have heard some people say the prices are going up. I have seen a few ‘looking for’ ads that are simply delusional. Do not believe everything you read on the Internet.

Residency visas: For us, it went exactly as our lawyers explained. This is not true for some of our friends. Whether it goes smoothly or not, it is not cheap.

Children visits: It can get real spendy getting the kids here for visits.

This is a different culture with different social norms and customs. Some things here are simply not what North Americans are used to. Period. This is not a matter of good or bad. Just different. For instance:

- Public urination is common. The US is an automobile culture ..... people drive to any and all destinations ....... even a couple blocks. This is more of a walking culture with almost no public restrooms. I am a walker. I might go for a 1, 2 or 3 hour walk. Very few businesses will allow you to use their restroom. As a walker, I understand public urination and am now a (modest) participator.

- Being on time. It is no exaggeration to say that many service calls and deliveries are not only late or very late, but are simply no-shows.

- Deadlines. It seems that if you ask when something will be done, the polite thing to do is to tell you a deadline that you want to hear. That is the polite thing to do. However it is not impolite to not meet the deadline.

- Cutting in line. Driving, standing in line in the store, in line at a government office. Doesn't matter. It is cultural, not rude.

- Staring. Sometimes I feel like I must have 2 heads.

- Nose picking. Yep, lots of that. Get used to it.

Efficiency: If North American efficiency is important to you, you could get very frustrated here.

Noise: Plan to live in the city? Honking horns and car alarms are a way of life here.

Red tape: All official procedures here are knee deep in red tape. Sometimes it can take 20 minutes to pay for something as simple as a gas space heater ...... even a cash sale. You can either go with the flow or have a heart attack or stroke. Your choice.

Food: In my opinion, much healthier than in the US. But often the ‘comida tipica’ is not to American taste. My yardstick for health value of food ........ the worse it tastes, the healthier it probably is. The comida tipica is very healthy.

Control: Do you have a need to be in control? You may without even knowing it. If you are unsure if you possess this need, you will certainly find out here. It seems that so much is simply out of your control here. Once again .... go with the flow, heart attack or stroke.

Business practices: I have heard many gringos complain about shady or unethical business practices. This may or may not be true. The bottom line is that the only person truly looking out for my best interest is me. If you are impulsive, impatient or careless, things may not work out in your best interests. Due diligence is important in any foreign country.

Liability laws and personal responsibility: Quite frankly, I welcome the local attitude. A personal injury lawyer would starve to death here.

Availability and quality of consumer goods: Often not what you are used to. It seems to me that many of the consumer goods are inferior in quality. Return policies in stores are simple. No returns. Many gringos have items of preference regularly brought down to them. As I tell my son and daughter, “We pay for your ticket. You mule our stuff for us.”

Perfect weather?: There are many evenings, especially the last 2 months, that I would love to go to the wall and turn on the heat. What heat? So we have space heaters. We picked up an electric blanket on our trip to Kansas. Lots of rain the last couple months also. The good news is we don’t need air conditioning.

Diesel fumes from busses and delivery trucks: Ghastly.

High speed Internet: The definition of broadband is different here. You can get relatively good speeds coupled with reliability. But it can be spendy.

Petty crime: Pickpockets, muggings, etc. I personally feel safer here than in Kansas City or Portland. But this is a city. There is a major disparity between the rich and the poor. Gringos are perceived as rich. So, if you are naive, careless, stupid, or unlucky ....... you could be making a donation. Unlike in US cities, you will likely lose your wallet or cell phone rather than your life.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Weird Bus Ride

2011-06-02T18:38:00.005-05:00

Ok now .....

So as any Cuencano will tell you, red tape has been elevated to an art form here. It seems that anything official is (at the least) multi step. Most of these steps seem to be in different offices scattered around different edges of town. OK, we are used to this.

So now for the weird part:

I had to take care of some official business today. (Doesn't matter what.) One weird thing was that all four steps were in the SAME BUILDING! Weird. True, 4 different lines, but, all in the same building. But, not actually lines. You got to sit in seats and wait for your number to come up on the screen. (Repeat ..... sit in seats. Inside. No outside lines.) OK, that is kind of a lie. The first line was standing outside. But it wasn't raining and was in the shade, and was less than 15 minutes.

So , yeah, it is true that was almost 3 hours waiting for my number to come up those different times. But it was all in one building. Seated .... not standing. And it all worked out. Well, except for the part where I have to go back tomorrow. (Step 5)

NOW ..... for the weird bus ride:

Because it was all in one place, I only had to take one bus to this particular edge of nowhere. But the odd thing about the bus ride itself ...... actually odd things:

- the bus driver was not a race car driver at heart.

- the bus driver did not do jackrabbit starts with people still walking down the aisle

- the bus driver never slammed on his brakes

- the bus driver kept all 4 wheels (actually 6 wheels) on the ground in all the turns

- the bus driver smiled

- the bus driver made change

- the bus driver did not cut off any other drivers

- the bus driver drove safely

- the bus driver was probably medicated

- the bus driver will probably lose his job

The other day I was in a bus where the driver took a corner so fast that the tilt of the bus set off alarms. Nope, not making that up.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Predictions and Dire Warnings

2011-05-28T10:19:00.004-05:00

I retired a year ago. Moved to Cuenca 2 days later.

Friends and colleagues predicted that I could never adjust to a life of leisure. That I would get bored within a year. That I would would be looking for some type of work. Something to keep me busy. That being idle would drive me nuts. I suspect the predictions were based on the last several years, I worked 80 hours/week 5 months a year and 50 hours/week the other 7 months. (Long story.)

I don’t know. Maybe they’re right. Maybe it has driven me nuts and I just don’t know it. Maybe doing exactly what I want every single day has loosened some of my screws. Maybe finding exactly the place we had been seeking for 15 years pushed me over the edge. Maybe all those years of being at work at 7:30 AM was the sane part and that this is the nuts part.

Maybe I truly hate my life of early retirement in south america but am too far gone to realize it. On the off chance that is true, we decided to take a break from our pitiful existence and go to the Hosteria Izhcayluma in Vilcabamba for a few days. Maybe a few days of spas, massages, long walks, good food and leisure would jolt us back to reality.

Sadly, it didn’t. Upon our return to Cuenca yesterday, I find that I am still deluded. Still saddled with this false contentment. Still lacking drive and ambition. But, please don’t feel sorry for me. We chose this life and will just have to live with it.

Maybe we will have to go to the coast soon. Maybe there I can find and re-kindle my good old Kansas work ethic. Gee, I sure hope so.

Some pics:

Life is sweet,

Clarke

This Has NOTHING To Do With Ecuador Or Cuenca.In Fact, It Is Not Even Worth Reading

2011-05-18T21:43:00.009-05:00

So, I was gong to leave a comment on Rich and Nancy's blog. Nancy posted about a bunch of 'bad' things that happened in their kitchen all at once. She wasn't complaining, just observing. (http://richandnancy.blogspot.com/2011/05/those-so-called-bad-days-but-whos.html)

So ........ I was going to leave one of those folksy little folk wisdom type sayings that just make me want to wretch. Something like, "Gee whiz Aunt Bea, it must be those bad days that make the good ones so .......... whatever.".

So, I get curious and I Google 'folk wisdom'. Holy Mother of God! Such collections of profound wisdom. I only went to a couple of the sites. They even LOOK like one would expect.

I do have two favorite folk wisdom sayings. But if I express one, I always make it a point to express the other immediately.

- Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

- Out of sight out of mind.

Folksy - yep.

Wisdomy - dubious.

Aren't you glad you wasted your time reading this?

Life is sweet,

Clarke

PS: I am not sure which is worse: Folk Wisdom or Pop Psychology.

Registering The Car

2011-05-13T16:39:00.006-05:00

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

WHAT A PROCESS!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I HATE long detailed blog entries. However, this is NOT a short process.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Our car is used. A 2010. So maybe a new car is easier.

We got the car through Santiago so he had already gotten much of the paperwork done. He already had:

1. The purchase/sales contract (and copies) with multiple signatures. It is a 2 page contract.

2. Original and color copies of the Matricula (title/license) for the previous owner.

3. Color copies of the prior owner’s Cedulas (kind of a national ID card)

4. Original and color copies of the SOAT (proof of liability insurance).

5. Color copies of Brenda and my Cedulas

So, armed with the above, off we go:

1. SRI office. Some kind of taxing place where they determine the tax we must pay. Wait for 1 1/2 to 2 hours and then see ‘the kid’. The kid looks about 15 years old. Seems to be wearing his dad’s or older brother’s suit. In about 5 minutes, he tells me that I will owe about $1000 in taxes and that I need to wait an hour or two and go to a bank and pay it. Can’t pay it there. Remember the kid, because he screwed up and we will have to get back to fixing this.

2. Go to bank, tell them what I have to do and like magic we are $1000 poorer but I have 2 very pretty pieces of paper to be added to the things above.

3. Waiting a few days here because Brennie and I are in the process of signing up for driving school.

4. Back to registering the car. Go to transit dept and find the right line. The first window we go to is actually a exterior window in one of the old buildings. The officials are inside and the customers are outside. Luckily it is not raining. Hand them all the papers and they look at them and make some marks on them add some more signatures and stamps and send us down the street with something written on a scrap of paper ....... yeah, literally a scrap. We were in that line about 30 to 45 minutes.

5. Go down the street with the scrap of paper. Stand in line and pay ..... I forget. Maybe $20 and get another official piece of paper.

6. Go to another building couple blocks in the other direction (the window is in a parking lot) where they check to see if the car has any tickets or other claims against it owing to the state. This paper is only good for 3 days and it is Thursday. All govt office are closed Friday (Good Friday) so the paper will be no good by the time we need it on Monday.

7. So we go to the neighboring town where a physical inspection is made of the car. it is actually pretty cool, They seem to check exhaust, lights, brakes, VIN, etc. This is the place that would be impossible to find if you didn’t know where it was. Luckily Santiago did. Anyway, pay them $40 and get 2 more pieces of official paper. Total time there is about 2 hours.

8. Following the Easter Holiday, I go back to the window in #6 above and get another official piece of paper. The car doesn’t owe any fines to the govt. Good. This costs nothing. By the way, by this time I am carrying my Ipad with me so that I can read while I stand in line.

9. & 10. Then to another window in another building to have another fee assessed. The guy looks at all the papers and my Cedula, signs, stamps, makes checkmarks on my paprers and sends me to yet another window (different building) to pay the $50. They give me yet another piece of official paper. ...... signed, stamped, etc.

11. Finally, I should have all the papers and stamps, so I meet up with Santiago and we go back to the Transit Dept to get the Matricula (title or license). We stand in line about 45 - 60 minutes and get to the window with many papers. All signed, stamped, initialed, etc. The gal finds an error and sends us to another window.

12. We go to the window (stand in line) to find out that the kid that assessed in #1 above and that I paid in #2 above screwed up. He had me pay an additional fee of about $50 that I didn’t have to. We said “No problem. Keep it.” Unfortunately, they can’t do that.

13. Instead, we have to write a letter requesting the money be transferred back to my bank a/c. This letter must include multiple pieces of info and be accompanied by a form from my bank along with a couple other forms.

14. Santiago heads back to his office to have the secretary start the letter and I go to the bank for yet another form.

15. Two days later I collect the letter and accompanying docs from Santiago’s secretary, go back to Transito Dept and go stand in the ‘Edaunancion’ (or something) line again.

16. The gal tells me that I need a copy of the letter. So out to the copy stand and back to the gal. She looks over all the docs again. Stamps and signs the letter and the copy. Keeps the original letter and accompanying 5 pages of docs. She adds the stamped and signed copy to the sheaf of paper I am hustling around with me.

17. She tells me to go to the ‘Matricula line. That is either window #5 or 6. They are labelled.

18. I am not crazy about this because this is the same line as in step 11 from 2 days ago. After about 5 minutes, someone else in line tells me I should be at window (‘window’ is spelled L-I-N-E) #9.

19. So I go to #9. When it is my turn, the guy examines every piece of paper that I have now collected, had signed, stamped and verified. There are about 15 of them. No kidding! He signs some of them, stamps some of them and puts more check marks on most of them. AND HE KEEPS THEM ALL. He tells me to go to line #5 again.....empty handed. Line 5 was last seen in steps 11, 17 &18.

20. So I return to line #5 empty handed and nervous. When it is finally my turn to see the gal in window 5 (again), she asks my name and verifies my address, etc. She prints out two pieces of paper, asks me for $40 and sends me to window 10.

21. The gal in window 10 stamps and signs the papers that I got in step 20. Returns the 2 sheets of paper to me and tells me to return in 45 days for the Matricula.

HOLY SH*T!!

I THINK IT IS DONE

A COUPLE NOTES:

1. None of the above is exaggerated. The truth is astounding enough without having to exaggerate.

2. What I didn’t mention is that at most of the steps above, the official, examined and made checkmarks on most of the previous docs. Often this included an additional stamp accompanied by his/her signature.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

A Few Notes About the Driving Course

2011-05-06T14:49:00.007-05:00

PETA and ASPCA will be happy to know that after the chicken mishap and the small incident with the dog, no other animals were harmed or killed in this production.

My driving time was 6 - 9 AM every day, so ...... a little sleep deprived.

Both the driving test and the written test (in Spanish) were today.

Almost had a wreck in the driving part. As I pulled away from a stop sign, a cab came barreling around a corner. Had to really punch it to get out of his way. The car I used in the test was MUCH BETTER than the one for all the practice driving. If I was in the practice driving car ..... well, no such thing as punching that wreck.

The driving test was from 8 - 9 AM ....... which is rush hour. Oh my. Not real fun. There are two rondelles (roundabouts) in town that always avoid on my moto or my bike. They are absolute nightmares. Wanna guess where I was during rush hour? Final score 19.3 / 20. I'll take it.

Got 19 /20 on the written test. The one that I missed was due to an interpretation problem. The question itself was 2 full sentences of Spanish ..... I mis-read the last word. It basically asked, if while driving, should we be concerned about the driving of others on the road? Duh. I interpreted it as ....... should we worry about 'women' drivers? I thought it was kind of a weird question. 'Demas' is not the same as 'Damas'.

Anyway the course is over. After I get the certificate (a couple weeks from now), I get to go take the government test. Yippee!

It was a dreadful and stressful week. Can't wait to go back to doing .......... well, doing nothing productive.

Time for a nap.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Cujo of EcuadorAKADriving - Day 2

2011-05-03T15:03:00.005-05:00

Okey -Dokey Now.

I think that my behind-the-wheel driving instructor (Johnny) is a country boy at heart. About half the behind-the-wheel time yesterday was spent on every god forsaken unpaved road in the mountains south of town. Potholes, chickens, dirt, etc. A real ckicken-running-over type of day. Did I mention potholes? Or maybe potholes?

TODAY:

After todays 3 hours of behind-the-wheel time, I yearn for yesterday. This time we went into the mountains north of town. The villages, the scenery, views .... fabulous. But, holy mother of god, the roads! P-r-i-m-i-t-i-v-e would be flattering. Use your imagination here and you might, just might be close. Cows, chickens and all sundry of 2 and 4 legged beasties sharing the one lane dirt roads. Only actually had to wait once for the cows to clear me a path: and they were in NO hurry.

But What About Cujo?

Lots and lots of dogs in the villages. I don't know if they were pets or street dogs. But there were a lot. They were a mangy bunch of curs ...... actually many mangy bunches of curs. Many were pretty good size. Few found me charming. One of them (Cujo) went after the car. Seriously went after it. I was driving slow as there really wasn't much choice. Anyway, I DID NOT hit him or run over him. And I don't know if he actually attacked the car or what. But there was a distinct and heavy thump in the left rear of the car as I was passing that horrible creature.

I'm just happy that I wasn't on my bicycle or motorcycle.

I wonder where Johnny is having me drive tomorrow?

Life is sweet,

Clarke

"I Know a Guy ....' "I Have a Guy ....Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

2011-05-02T14:29:00.005-05:00

"I KNOW A GUY ...."

"I HAVE A GUY ......"

It seems like almost everybody 'has' or 'knows' a guy that can 'fix' just about anything.

By 'fix', I don't refer to 'repair'. 'Fix' as in 'Put in the Fix'

Do you have an illegal car? Want to get it registered?

Someone will know a guy that can ........

Shortcut to a drivers license?

Someone will know a guy that for $50 will ..........

No matter what bureaucratic snaggle or red tape or process you mention ....

Someone will claim to .......... you guessed it .....know a guy.

Everybody seems to have the guy that can skirt the system.

BUT .......

I don't know of anybody that has successfully done it.

I think this guy is a cousin to Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD ..... TWICE?

Today was my first day of driving in the driving class that you MUST take (and pass) before you can go to the Transit Dept and take their test. Anybody wanting to take the govt test has to take and pass the course first. The only exception is if you 'know a guy' ...... but that has been covered already.

Anyway. So I am driving this really fine bucket of bolts all over the place today. Highway, surface streets, dirt roads in the mountains, etc. Each 'at the wheel' session, lasts 3 hours and is actually pretty fun.

Anyway, so I am driving a dirt road full of pot holes and other yuck. Pretty much right in front of me, these two chickens run across the road ........ not really to get to the other side. I would guess that the one running away would have been a hen and the pursuer would be the rooster. The rooster was doing his best to 'rooster' the hen. He caught her on the edge of the road after both had crossed in front of me. I am pretty much at a stop. As he is trying to 'rooster' her at the far side, I start to drive by. Apparently, the roostering wasn't to her liking. She gets away and throws herself under my front wheel. She wasn't dead, but pretty injured. She drags herself to the other side (the original side), and ......... Well, lets just say that the rooster was no gentleman.

So, I look at the driving instructor, he looks at me, he shrugs his shoulders and remarks that chickens are 'tonto'. 'Tonto' means a fool. It is NOT a compliment. What was the name of the Lone Ranger's sidekick?

Anyway, I now know why some chickens cross the road.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

You're Back!!!

2011-04-27T16:01:00.004-05:00

YOU CAME BACK TO ME!

Please, never abandon me again.

I missed you so much!

Are you back to stay?

Or are you just teasing here?

I promise to be good.

I will pay whatever you ask.

Just don't, please don't abandon me again.

I was so unhappy while you were gone.

My life is better when you are part of every day.

Life is sweet (again),

Clarke

Big Time FUN!!

2011-04-26T10:39:00.008-05:00

Brennie and I have enrolled in a driving course that starts this Saturday. I have been trying to register the car. This entry is about the enrolling and registering ..... therefore the title of “Big Time FUN!!”

PREFACE (copies)

Every step of any process requires copies either of stuff gotten in previous steps or of our Cedulas (gotten months ago as part of the residency visa process....... kind of a proof of residency) or Censos (a ‘where do you live’ identity card?). Passport size color photos are often required. When submitting copies, you also have to show the originals ..... but you keep the originals .......sometimes. Incidentally, there are copy stands either outside or adjacent to every govt office. In the larger complexes there are copy stands within the complex as well as surrounding them. Making copies is a thriving small business

(I have been sick the last several days [throat, lung and sinus nastiness] so the Brennie just handed my my meds and stood there until I took them. What ever happened to trust?)

PREFACE NUMERO DOS (govt offices and lines)

Every step of every process is done in a different place or office. The most convenient variation of this is when you go to a different window in the same building. Next most convenient is when you go to a different building in the same complex. Less convenient is when you go to a different building within a block or two. Next is somewhere on the other side of town. The worst is in a neighboring town (car inspection to be covered later), and down a dirt road to a place that cannot even be found by GPS or satellites. Every single step involves a line ....... sometimes a very long line.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

REGISTERING FOR DRIVING SCHOOL:

Prerequisite for this is the ‘Record Policial’. This is a document from the national police regarding your police record.

Clarke’s Record Policial:

1. Go to police window at Transit Commission complex where these are readily available for $5 and copies of Cedulas, Censos, (blood type?) and passport photos.

2. Oopsie. Clarke is not in the system. Therefore go to Judicial Police on other side of town and wait in a different line (same docs required).

3.. Get to window and fill out some kind of form with some personal info, submit all copies and fee and receive (very pretty) Record Policial.

4. Done

Brennie’s Record Policial a few days later:

1. Already know to go to Judicial Police and what to bring, so we do this and expect to fill out the same paper. WRONG.

2. Apparently the guy did me a favor by having me fill out the form and giving me my Record Policial. Apparently I had promised to return with other documentation later. How was I to know? Everything was in Spanish. He recognizes me as the lying scum that I am and cuts Brennie no breaks.

3. Told to go to another office at (or near ..... not sure) Fiera Libre on the other side of town and got some other doc. Not sure what. (He writes it on a piece of paper)

4. Told by someone else to get different doc at the central bus terminal. Again, not sure what. (Different thing written on a different piece of paper.)

5. We go to the central bus terminal because it is closer.

6. After standing in line (again) at the govt office at the bus terminal, the gal tells us we need to get something different at some other little office somewhere else. (She writes it on a piece of paper.)

7. Get a cab to the other office. Nobody knows what we are talking about. Actually, we showed them the piece of paper. So one guy looks a t the paper and says ‘oh yes, please wait here’. So we do. For a long, long time. A really long time. And that is it. We just sit there waiting and finally realize that nothing more is going to happen.

8. So we go to a line that everyone else is going to and show them our piece of paper. HUH? Nobody knows what the paper is asking for. Well, not true. Two people do (kind of) know and tell us two different things.

SO ......... we go home and call Lorena. Lorena is a friend of ours. A Cuencana from an old family with old money. She is also a lawyer. She doesn’t actually practice law ......remember the ‘old family, old money’ part?

Next day we repeat all the above, but with Lorena. She speaks both Spanish and Law. Same outcome.

So, we (with Lorena) now go to see our actual lawyer, Nelson. Lorena and Nelson know each other because they were in law school together. Lorena explains the problem. It seems that when we got our Cedulas, the data input people in Quito (the capital) failed to input complete info into the system. Lorena was told we would have to fly to Quito to have it fixed. Nelson shows us the submitted forms for the Cedula and the printed stuff received from the govt in return and all the info is there. Some of it was just not input into the (one of many?) systems.

Nelson makes some phone calls to Quito and asks us to come back In a couple days.

A couple days later, Nelson takes us up to the Judicial Police office again with the sheaf of papers he showed us in his office a couple days ago (and copies), walks to the front of the line, argues with the official that sent us away twice, calls Quito and hands the guy the phone. When he is all done, he tells us that we can get the Record Policial at 9:00 the next morning. Which we do.

So, now we have the Record Policial and can go sign up for the driving class. Maybe. Maybe not.

Total time spent for Record Policial: About 16 - 20 hours spread over 4 different days.

Total cost: $5 each for the document fee and about $20 for copies, photos and transportation.

Definitely more than $30 worth of fun and sightseeing!

Tune in again tomorrow for (maybe) signing up for driving class

Life is sweet,

Clarke

IF YOU HAVE LOOKED AT ANY CUENCA BLOGS RECENTLY .......

2011-04-18T15:08:00.006-05:00

....... YOU HAVE SEEN MENTION OF THE APRIL RAINS.

So here are some pics taken about 8:00 this AM. These shots are taken from the balcony facing east. What do you think? Rain today? Or not?

Life is ~~wet~~ sweet,

Clarke

WET CHICKENS

2011-04-17T20:18:00.003-05:00

"BUC, BUC, BUC, BUC, BUUCUUUUUUUCK!”

Is that how chicken clucking is spelled?

OK now we are finally a little chicken.

I wanted to title this entry “Skeert and Afeared in Cuenca”. I have aways loved the words ‘skeert ‘ and ‘afeared’. (scared and afraid) But, I was afeared that it might sound stupid. Besides ... the 'buc, buc, buc' thing is both classy and crystal clear. (btw, another favorite word of mine is ‘stoopid’)

RAIN? HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!

It is raining part of the day every day now. And, and, and.........some of it has been torrential. Usually it has been raining in the afternoons. Most of the days are dry and/or sunny in the AM’s and also following the afternoon rains.

Today it rained in the AM instead. So, I took a leap and told Breenie that baby jesus told me that it would be clear the rest of the day. Brennie told me that mother nature makes that call and that she told Brennie more rain.

mother nature - 1, baby jesus - 0.

OOPSIE:

I forgot about the whole chicken and skeert thing........

A car. Yes siree, We bought a car ..... over a month ago. We bought it the day before we left for Kansas for a couple weeks. We have it parked at a friend’s place. It is a 2010 Suzuki Grand Vitara. It has 12,000 miles on it, 4wd and auto trans. (For those that don’t know, auto trans is fairly rare down here.)

So? What what has got us all chicken? Uh, that would be actually driving it. I have driven it all over town. And THAT is a new experience! It is difficult in less than 1000 words to describe the courtesies of the road here and the (unwritten?) rules. But I have been observing for about a year now and participating via bicycle and moto.

Basically, local drivers are very aggressive, yet not rude. (OK there is constant horn honking, but that is more of a cultural thing, and not actually ‘rude’. Kind of like cutting in line at the store if you leave more than a couple inches between you and the person in front of you. Cultural. Not rude. If you leave room, someone may take it. Period.) The same crowding and cutting applies with driving too. Leave any kind of safe distance (as thought of in the US) and it is an invitation for someone to take that space ......... I mean, after all ...... you’re not using it, right? It seems that once a person has taken the space that you ‘invited them into’, well, no hard feelings. That whole space thing applies to space on the sides of the car as well. If you are at a stop and leave barely enough room on the side for a small car to squeeze in ........ then a small car will squeeze in and edge it’s way in front of you. After all you left the space and it’s implied invitation to anyone that can utilize it. Right??

That whole crowding and squeezing in thing doesn’t apply only to traffic at a stop. It works with moving traffic as well. It is really interesting and you must be aware of all cars at all times ....... ALL cars at all times .....ALL CARS AT ALL TIMES ......... Someone behind you on the left could very well be passing you on the right 5 seconds later. True.

AMAZINGLY:

There are very few accidents and very few banged up cars. It is my opinion that these are some of the most alert drivers in the world. You really must be. Any driver here could teach courses in the US on defensive driving.

SO, IF I AM DRIVING IN TOWN, WHAT ARE WE AFRAID OF?

Leaving town. Sounds weird. Is weird. But for some reason we cannot bring ourselves to venture out of town. We have planned to 3 or 4 times. Don’t know what the problem is. Fear of getting lost? Mountain driving? ( I lived in the mountains before and drove them all the time in the snow.) Every time we have planned to leave town, we have thought of something else to do. (Wash the dogs. Trim our toe nails. Any excuse can and will do.) THE ONLY REASON WE BOUGHT THE CAR IS SO THAT WE CAN LEAVE TOWN. Maybe tomorrow.

A WORD ON THE CONSTANT HORN HONKING:

The horns here are not nearly as loud as the horns on the cars n the US. Thank god.

Life is sweet,

Clarke

A RECOMMENDATION. LEGAL SERVICES

2011-04-06T09:47:00.004-05:00

WHAT? A RECOMMENDATION?

YES.

There are a few things that I try to avoid putting on this blog. I try to avoid giving advice, making recommendations, bitching, whining, sounding like any kind of expert (on anything), taking myself too seriously, etc. Frankly, I am not sure of my mission ....... if anyone has figured it out, let me know.

GENERAL POSITION ON MAKING RECOMMENDATIONS:

Usually, if someone asks me for a recommendation, I point them to one or several of the forums. Many of these are on the resource page at South of Zero. The reason that I avoid making recommendations is that everyone has different expectations, experiences, priorities, values ..... on and on. For instance ....... container vs arriving with suitcases, buy home vs rent, buy car vs only public transportation, bank locally vs 'other'. What is right for one person is not always right for another.

PROBLEM MAKING RECOMMENDATIONS FOR A LAWYER:

If you put together any group of expats and bring up the topics of lawyers, here is what you will find. Given any of the lawyers generally used by expats, you will find some people that love them, some that are neutral, and some that believe they are both evil and incompetent. It seems to me that many of the 'evil and incompetent' opinions are expressed by individuals that have never even met or used the services of the lawyer. Another problem, is the timeliness of the opinion. A recommendation from an experience of 1, 2 or 3 years ago, may no longer be relevant. It seems that many legal processes (like getting a residency visa) are a moving target. Also due to the influx of north americans and increases in caseloads for some lawyers, that the level of service and attention that a lawyer could give a couple years ago is different than they can provide at this time. A base this observation on experiences that some of my friends have had RECENTLY.

FINALLY .... THE RECOMMENDATION. BASED ON OUR EXPERIENCE:

We have used Grace and Nelson (Idrovo & Velastegui) for all of our legal work. We have been very pleased with them. They handled the purchase of our apartment (in old town) a couple years ago and our residency visas last year. We have found them to be very competent, professional, and a pleasure to work with. Everything they told us was true. Everything worked out like they said it would. There were no surprises. They did not blow smoke up our *ss*s. It helps that Grace speaks English and that their para is an American that has lived in Cuenca 13(?) years.

Plus I have had to drop in a few times with the odd question or issue. I am so glad that Grace and Nelson are our lawyers.

For a more fluent recommendation, you can go to Bill and Loretta's blog "Our Ecuador". http://ourecuador.blogspot.com/2011/03/lawyers-in-cuenca.html

Grace and Nelson's office is in downtown Cuenca:

Luis Cordero 6-41 y P Cordova

Office tel: (593) 7-2842225

gracevelastegui@yahoo.com

Life is sweet,

Clarke

Adios Lawrence (KS) Hola Cuenca

2011-04-01T22:58:00.007-05:00

ADIOS LAWRENCE:

Spending 10 days with the hijo and hija were fantastic. Can't say enough good about that.

Kansas weather is unpredictable. Sunny and warm the first few days. a couple days of rain. And a couple days of ..........

HOLA CUENCA:

What can I say. I love this place like I never thought possible.

LUGGAGE SAGA:

For the trip to the US, we took two suitcases. Inside each of them was another suitcase. We planned to fill up all four with much missed items for the return trip. We also each had a carry-on. With just enough clothes and personal items to get us to Kansas.

From Guayaquil to Kansas City:

American Airlines DID NOT LOSE either of the carry-ons. (Duh. We had them with us in the cabin.) Neither of the checked bags made it to Kansas City with us. They did show up the next day. Not lost ... just delayed.

From Kansas City to Guayaquil:

Once again, no carry on was lost for the same reason as above. Of the four checked bags, only one was lost ...... that would be my bag. Cigars for Randy and I. Chewing tobacco for Jim and I. Pretty much all the clothes that ~~I bought~~ Brenda bought me, and the guns, ammo and porn. Just kidding. None of the last 3 made it through airport security. The lost bag did arrive yesterday evening. Delayed ... not lost. So all is good with the world.

A SAD NOTE:

Our checked bags (4 of them) each weighed 50 - 50.5 pounds. We have a hand held luggage scale .... very handy.

The sad part. The JIF Creamy did not make the cut. I had to take it out of the checked bag. You can't have jars of peanut butter in your carry on either (voice of experience here). You know ..... it must be those famous peanut butter bombs that have everyone so scared. However, if you waddle your way through the new body scanners with a gut full of JIF. No problemo.

CHEESE:

We brought some of our favorite bricks of cheese with us in 2 & 2 1/2 pound loafs. Airport Security x-rays all bags. At the KC airport, I saw them opening the bag with the cheese and examining the cheese. It must have an x-ray profile similar to c-4 plastic explosive .... I guess. They examined every bit of it and wiped each one with those special wipe pads that tell them if it is explosive. The only way it would be explosive is ..... maybe, just maybe ..... if you ate too much at one setting???

It is great to be back home in Cuenca where ....

Life is sweet,

Clarke

PS: Oh jeez, I forgot to mention that it was nice to see Bugger and Wanker again. They had a great time at 'Randy and Karen's Summer Camp". Randy and Karen enjoyed it so much that they are hoping to have more dogs at their little camp. So be sure to get in touch with them. Thanks R & K!!!

Lawrence, Kansas

2011-03-19T11:02:00.002-05:00

WOW, What a difference!

So, I am taking a long walk this AM. And,I notice two big differences between Kansas and Cuenca.
1. Nobody walks here. Nobody. I already knew that. But the sidewalks are great ..... and you get them all to yourself. But it is a boring thing.
2. You know those little flags they stick in the ground on wires to show where the burried utilities are before digging? You know the ones. Each type of utility flag is a different color ...... And about 3 inches square.
Well, some of them said "Sanitary Sewer". That is just stupid! We ALL know what flows in a sewer ..... And it sure isn't sanitary!

Life is sweet,
Clarke

GUAYAQUIL, ECUADOR

2011-03-16T16:25:00.002-05:00

The Brennie and I are in Guayaquil right now.

Guayaquil is the largest city in Ecuador. It is a seaport and industrial city.

Some people would say it is a hot, humid, sticky, crowded, teeming mass of humanity in the most dangerous city in Ecuador.

I would say ....."Cool, the ugly decrepit busses don't spew diesel fumes!"

See how sweet I am? (A hot sticky sweaty sweetness.)

Can't wait for breakfast here at the hotel. It is only $16 ..... each. I wonder what they are serving on the plane.

Life is sweet,
Clarke